Apprentice
Life In The Luxury Lane

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Lesson Seven: Sometimes The Joke Is Not On You

Arrow, listen to this, is discussing their concept of words like "elite" and "exclusive" and "luxurious," and all I can think about is J-Lo's pink diamond, like, that's how Arrow would define these terms. Surya stands at a long, long whiteboard, writing and writing and writing, words, words, words, doing nothing as usual but spending violent amounts of energy on this nothing that he's doing. James is like, "What are we doing, for real though?" He interviews that there's now a five by twenty whiteboard "full of crap," and Surya interviews in turn that he was illustrating how everybody could see their tasks and how it all fits together. In a way that only makes sense, and more importantly only matters, to Surya. Frank compares him to John Forbes Nash from A Beautiful Mind, a movie I'm conservatively estimating Frank understood about 67%, and this is not a challenging movie or anything, but it's Frank: you have to be kind. Stefani deliciously tells everybody to let Surya play with his markers and not talk to him, and in this way they will be victorious. And you know what, she's right. Love that girl. Stefani and Frank get on the phone and start the event planning, and...I don't know how to say this, but Frank looks really great for a second. He's wearing a pink shirt, though, so maybe it's just some kind of subconscious wish that Aaron will come back. I say this only in dedication to full disclosure so no, I don't want to talk about it further, thank you. It went away fast, of course. James designs the test-drive part, looks like, and meanwhile apparently Tim and Nicole are not doing anything at all. Which I don't really believe, but somebody explained to me that this is the editing again: we're getting hyped on the double-firing the last like three weeks, and now it looks like Tim and Nicole aren't doing anything. I dog Nicole a whole lot, but I seriously doubt it's like we're seeing. Although Nicole does irritatingly whine, "Tiiiiiiim, don't be a nerrrrrrrrrrrd!" in that voice of hers, so who knows? Let the lovey-dovey couple play their psych-out mind games in front of the camera and get to work, Arrow!

Derek and Angela deal with the cute graphics guy, because there's always a cute graphics guy, and fuck around this time for five hours, and everything Angela thinks of, she checks with Derek for no reason, and he is like reclined in his chair with his tie off and his shoes off and slippers and a pipe and a copy of Mandate, is how not feeling this task he is, but she doesn't get it. So her dumb ideas that don't exist fail to gain traction, and Derek's like, "Make them any size you want, the banners. Stick 'em on a horse and buggy, pretend that they're psychic and you have to have a Sixth Sense to read the signage, do whatever the hell. Hand me a marker and I'll make some fucking signs, just leave me alone." He interviews that marketing is "on her" and that technically he "reports to her," and there's much talking, and they hit the deadline, and pass it by, so now the signage, which I'm sure is going to be piss poor, is not showing up or something, and Derek earns his firing, via edit, by telling us that Angela fucked up but he's going to pay the price for it, because his shit was done at 8, and now it's the year 2525 and Lexus has been bought out by McDonald's and our robot masters force us to do their parallel parking for them.

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Apprentice

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