Life In The Luxury Lane

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
Lesson Seven: Sometimes The Joke Is Not On You


1) Who besides you and Angela are there?
2) So justifying and saying that your ass is covered, in an interview that only you and we will ever see is ...
3) Going up against Angela, even in your mind, is...
4) So is this a risk? Burnout? Killer fatigue? A scary trip into gameshow world?
5) In summation: if the thing you were tasked to do isn't done, "My stuff was done at 8" is worth precisely...
6) And by "white trash" I mean of course ...

1) Nobody except the cute graphics guy, and he matters less than not at all.
2) Incredibly silly and is going to bite you in the ass.
3) Dumb, dumb, dumb, especially if what I've heard is true, and Trump is straight up telling them in the boardroom that he refuses to fire her.
4) Not really a risk, but the rest are true. If you don't lose the task, you and the riff-raff won't get fired.
5) $7.50. Or as you would say, three bags of Cheetos, you piece of white trash.
6) That I love you madly!

Wacky music plays as James and his wildly hot bod irons his clothes, and Nikki and Tim are still trying to figure out how kissing works, and Stefani and Frank abandon James to deal with them, and Surya runs around like a fool screaming and explaining and flouncing and flow-charting and strategizing about his pants. His literal goddamn pants: "These pants are beige but they're kind of gold, and I think they're very Lexus pants. Don't you think these pants are screaming, 'Lexus!'?" Nikki and Tim continue to canoodle, and meanwhile the pants are actually screaming, "OH MY GOD JUST GET ME OFF THIS DOUCHETARD." Then Stefani interviews a tiny bit of hubris about how the rest of the team, honestly, not being rude, but to be completely honest and without judgment, would have gotten in her way. In the van she and Frankie talk about how Surya is going to sell them down the river if they lose, and say that he had nothing to do with the task. And that he'd be right, no matter what happens.

Kinetic, where the crappy signs show up, and Kristine again explains their crappy Sixth Sense stupidity, how the car is smarter than the driver and the sixth sense is "taking over" and whatever. I can't even think of anybody that I would compare this theme to, from past seasons. There had to be more to it than this, because they open up their lovely Kinetic mouths and the most bizarre, startling things come flying out about this theme. Derek and Angela worry about the signs, and Derek explains to God and everybody, and us, a hundred times about how he's "irritated" by how Angela failed to compensate for his taking a nap on this task, but reiterating again and again that he was taking instructions from her, like he's not a gigantic grown man all on his own. I mean, she could take him in a fight for sure, but I hope it doesn't come to that. Don't touch the face, Angela! Jenn listens to Derek talk about how Angela is riff-raff and does not know her secret riff-raff destiny, so she's like, "I know!" Like the fact that Tent City is taking five times the toll on Kinetic in one-tenth the time isn't at the root of all this, from Aimee's spaciness to the entire team's inability to have a fucking conversation. I kind of love how Arrow is just naturally adapted to living in the wild, like how when our robot masters come only the cockroaches and Frankie Suits will be alive, and they will forage and live by their wits. And wear cute little suits.

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