Apprentice
Lights! Camera! Transaction!

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Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
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All up in your grill

The phone rings in the suite, and Chris answers it. Ew, I don't know if I needed to see Chris's nipple ring. I admit he has a nicer chest than I would have expected, but I don't know about the jewelry. Nipple rings kind of freak me out. I always want to hang a tiny, tiny towel through them. Anyway, Rhona tells Chris that Trump wants to meet the group at UPS at 8 AM. I'm sorry, UPS? How...captivating. Maybe they're going to do something with packing tape. Maybe they have to ship Faberge eggs without breaking any of them. Chris explains in his interview that the men, as usual, chose their project manager at random, and it turned out to be him. So this is two leadership weeks in a row for Chris. I hope he still hates the public, because I find that's really the most inspiring quality a leader can have.

At UPS, a guy who works much harder than any of these fools ever will in their entire lives is moving boxes in a back room. Out front, in a warehouse-ish space, the candidates enter and stand in their traditional cantaloupe. Trump is sporting a yellow tie, so apparently, he's all out of pink. He greets the teams and points out that George has returned from his business trip, so Boyfriend Bill has been sent back to Chicago to attend parties and have his picture taken. Trump reminds the women that last week, they suffered from a lack of leadership. The last thing he wants to do is actually make any of them stop screwing around and show any leadership qualities, so he has a plan to make sure that those without leadership skills can continue...not having any. More specifically, he has the Hose Pamela plan. He orders her, by name, with no questions asked, to not only change teams from Mosaic to Apex, but to be the Apex project manager, even though she has already been the project manager and there are four women on the team who haven't. Coincidentally, just as Trump moves her to the other team, Pamela swallows a bug, or so her face suggests. She strolls over to Apex, waving goodbye to the men who don't like her as she goes to stand next to the women who also don't like her. An inhospitable environment if ever there was one. Once she's over at Apex, she actually blows kisses to the members of Mosaic. Yeah, no one's buying. Trump points out that, as he undoubtedly prefers things to be, we are back down to men versus women. He tells Pamela, "We're going to see whether you can pull this mess together." Furthermore, he says to her, "It's not going to be easy." He tells her that everyone on the team hates each other, that they have a level of hatred that's "beyond belief," and so forth.

But enough hating. At least for them. Trump tells the teams that retailing has changed a great deal in recent years, and retailing assisted by electronic communications of various kinds is on the rise. That's what he hears from the kids who hang out on the internets, anyway. And who's the star of the task this week? QVC (Motto: "Bringing You Cheap Nonstick Cookware 22 1/2 Hours A Day"). Apparently, the tenuous link to UPS, which probably lost out on the opportunity to be the center of a task and had to be appeased in case Mark Burnett could never get anything delivered by Amazon.com again, is that UPS does all of the shipping for QVC. In fact, it ships four million packages for them every year. Trump calls this "unbelievable." It's also "really heavy."

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Apprentice

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