Apprentice
Apprentice

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B- | 665 USERS: C+
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Lesson Five: Swing When You're Winning

Felisha's there with a giant bag, and the ladies are all wearing pink, and Trump is screaming. Bill Rancic is working with them instead of George this week. Trump yells about how Capital Edge is "dropping like flies" and gives them one minute to decide if they'd like to choose a team member from Excel. Immediately and as a group, they yell, "We're ready!" I wonder if they've talked about it -- losing fifteen members of your team at a pitch might nudge the conversation in that direction -- or what. Trump's like, "What does that mean?" Kristi yells, "That means we want Randal!" Josh screams, "Shit!" and all the guys look bummed and pissed. Trump's like, "You wanna Rhodes scholar!" and Randal kisses his new teammates hello. Felisha interviews that they chose Randal as both "an asset" to their own team, and in order to hurt Team Excel. Randal is incredibly gracious about all of this and you can clearly see him already scheming about how to get everybody into shape. I feel cheated because obviously he's demonstrated some kick-ass leadership skills that we didn't get to see, because the show decided to get us there by another route, namely his dead grandmother and one hundred academic honors, and I wish we could have just seen him being awesome from the beginning. Not that we haven't seen him rocking out, just that the reaction the other candidates always have to him is out of joint with what we've seen, and that sucks, because I just really like him due to what little I've seen, and the rest I'm taking on faith, and there's no good reason for that except for how I think he's going to be Final Two and we'll really see him pull it out then and we'll all feel super-great about how we were backing him this whole time.

Donald Trump screams, "WE'RE STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF NEW YORK CITY! THIS IS FIFTH! THERE'S TRUMP TOWER RIGHT BEHIND YOU!" AAAIIIIEEE! RIGHT BEHIND YOU! "FIFTH IS FAMOUS FOR ITS PARADES!" He explains that they're going to be working with Sony Pictures -- "ONE OF THE GREAT MOVIE PICTURE COMPANIES ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD!" -- and Adam is highly pleased at this. Really, I'd enjoy working with any old "movie picture company," although after all of Trump's screaming, I think I'd like to avoid "talkies" for a while and just stick with silent "movie pictures."

The task: building a "prototype float." The teams will be judged on how they "advertise, promote, and visually incorporate the spirit of the movie" into their floats. I know I said the Dairy Queen thing would suck if you had to do it, but at least it didn't involve wood shop. The judges this week are Jon Favreau -- Clay and Brian laugh excitedly -- and Geoffrey Ammer, the President of Worldwide Marketing at Sony Pictures. Also, Clay is exempt, because everybody turned around on him after they totally rocked last week. (Please don't tell them how horrific the Genie was; I'm content to let them think they did a great job.)

Apprentice

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