Apprentice
Apprentice

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B- | 665 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Lesson Five: Swing When You're Winning

Brian's like, "Tell us about the story of Zarutha," of course, and the Fav is all, "Uh, Zarutha?" Everybody laughs fakely as the Fav explains that "the elephant in the living room" (Jumanji who?) is that if you hear the name just one time you won't remember it, so you have to always say it right. "One of the main things is teaching people the name." Everybody's nervous now, which is a guarantee I'd keep saying it wrong like Tourette's guy, over and over. So if anybody happens to do that, in this episode, you'll understand why I'm a little more sympathetic than I should be. (But by that logic, does my turning a blind eye to Josh and Kristi's bullshit mean I'm...never mind, actually.) The execs explain that the trailer they're going to be seeing is basically just a short version of the beginning of the movie, and the Fav's like, "It's really about the relationship of this family" blah blah more lies, and Tim Robbins is the dad and I'm sure he's in it for five seconds, and during the trailer Josh is taking notes. About what? He tells us. "These two brothers find this board game, and their house becomes a spaceship."

After the trailer, all of Excel claps their hands -- seems idiotic, and the Fav's not buying it, but it's a corporate monkey thing, this automatic clapping, it's actually triggered not by the movie but by the lights coming back on -- so the Fav laughs at them for being kiss-asses. He has seen nothing yet.

Capital Edge, meanwhile, will be headed by Jennifer, who's "wanted to be PM from the start," and believes that she is here "to kick some major butt." She tells us she loves "managing," which is funny because she spends most of this episode in tears. She says, with 99\% pride and 1\% fear, that the other members of the team are "leaders." As they settle into the exec's presentation, Kristi's hair is all crazy with static, like she just put her sweater on backwards and then switched it around really quickly. Jennifer explains to us that the board game is "a focal part of the movie," and that the name of the movie "is the name of the game." Ironic, although she means the literal board game and not The Apprentice. The name of the movie is also the name of the planet the kids are headed to. The Fav again highlights the importance of the name, okay, are you on board? He explains how his agent almost failed to get him the job directing the movie after he misspoke and said the name wrong. If people don't know the name of the movie, he worries, they won't be able to go see it. And he won't make any money, and if we've learned anything this week, it's that Money Matters.

Apprentice

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP