We see thousands of feet of Team Excel working, working, everybody working -- and then Markus yawning. Lots of shots of Markus sneaking around while everybody works. I hate him, you guys. Isn't this the big Omarosa problem? I know it was on Surreal Life, this inability to, like, do anything. You can't even characterize it as laziness, really, because of the amount of work he puts into not working, and justifying it to himself and everybody else, and trying to drag everybody else into it, but I don't know what else to call it. It's just...assholistic. Josh interviews that Markus stepped up from being merely "someone that you have to marginalize" to "a point of frustration" because of how Josh was working his ass off, which made Markus's loafing and lurking about all the more glaring. Not the best of reasons, but I like that he's upfront about it, like, if he weren't sweating and sweeping and all that, he'd just be condescending and disgusted, but since he's working so hard, Markus is aggressively annoying right now. "I want him to step up or step out because I cannot stand his bullshit anymore." Josh finally complains to someone on camera, instead of saving it for the interviews, but low-balls it, compared to how he usually talks to us. "I'm tired of carrying his weight...he's gotta start sweeping."
Brian -- this goes fast, so watch closely -- calls Markus over, seeing that Josh is really pissed, and basically agreeing with him about it. Markus comes schlumping up, okay, and goes, "Hey Brian, can we talk?" Brian's like, "Huh?" Because he was totally about to tell him to start working, and now Markus wants to have a sidebar about some kind of Markus crap. "What's going on?" he asks. "Just come here for a minute -- me and you." If Markus said that to me, I'd be like, absolutely not, because you know it's going to take a million years and be about something pointless and sucky. For this movie, I was thinking about the tagline, "Smooth As Silk." What do you think? Josh watches this and bitches about how Markus is just skating through the whole show. You know how some little kids are crafty and if they see you coming toward them with ire they'll try to engage you in a conversation about something completely different, in order to hit pause on getting in trouble? They're smooth as silk compared to this: Markus has chosen this precise moment -- the precise moment in which his active doing of nothing has gotten so intense that his manager is actually having to address it -- to bitch about how Brian told him he was good at ordering food. "I take offense to that." Brian can't even believe it. I think the roughest part of this is how far over Markus's head the irony actually is, here. Like, it's nearly brushing his stupid highlights, the low-flying irony, but he's not getting it. It was a joke about how lazy and useless and off-task you are, so you're going to call me to task on it in a way which is lazy and useless and off-task? And this while we're all in a time crunch? Check out my lack of sensitivity to your issue.