Apprentice
Apprentice

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B+ | 546 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Donald Trump and the suck-ups

"I'm looking for...the apprentice!" Oh, that sounds like the lead-in for the credits, y'all. But wait, it's not! It's just the lead-in for pulsing music and additional beauty shots of New York. Donald comes right back to tell us that right now, sixteen people are converging on his world headquarters, determined to compete for the opportunity to work as underlings for the biggest overling of all. Donald says that they "come from all walks of life," by which he means "those walks of life in which all the women are hot." Some of them have advanced degrees, while others got their BS (literally) from the University of Life, yo. Some of them have never been to New York before, and upon their arrival, they will be summarily eaten. Donald gets out of his limo, as the Trumpicopter idles nearby without even mussing his do. Impressive. "This is the chance to work for me at a yooge [sic] salary," he says, "and more importantly, learn enough so that maybe they, too, can become a billionaire someday." Hey, money can't buy grammar. He assures us that being in his program will be "the dream job of a lifetime." Donald moves from his limo to his helicopter. In upcoming episodes, we will see him in the Trump Power-Assisted Rickshaw, the Trump Mechanical Elephant 6000X, and the Trump Urban Parasailer. He dramatically wonders aloud, "Who will succeed? Who will fail? Who will steal the ashtrays?" (Okay, not the last one.) "And who will be...the apprentice?" Okay, now that's gotta be credits.

And indeed it is. "Money money money mo-ney," goes the soundtrack. Ah, the O-Jays. An excellent choice. The credits are top-notch, very stylish and cool-looking. They're much hipper in feel, actually, than some parts of the show. We see all of the contestants, but I won't tell you about them now, since they're about to be introduced in a minute. I'll just say that they all kind of come off like sleazeballs, which is appropriate. And, you know, kind of accurate.

Apprentice

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