"Men in Black Are Gonna Come Get Him"

Episode Report Card
Carla Sparks: C- | 1 USERS: B+
Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

"I don't know how I expect to go back into the music business with any shred of dignity," Trace says, having climbed on top of the BioSilk truck with his guitar to provide some spectacle for Farouk, who probably loves country music. Celebrity Apprentice isn't entirely about winning one's dignity back. The BioSilk experience doesn't have much cohesion, with a country singer on top of the truck, Gary acting as "the angel of silk," Penn Jillette juggling, and Miss USA standing next to someone getting a makeover.

The Team Power Chi experience is at least cohesive: American, pageantry, and a kind of jacked looking Joan Rivers impersonator. Dennis Rodman is having such a good time mingling that he forgets his place and goes over to the BioSilk end with some Miss USA girls. The advisors arrive and Marilu offers a frazzled attempt at an explanation of their experience. She's wearing a crown, just to make her look extra insane.

Over at the Chi truck, Arsenio and Don Jr. talk to the busted Joan Rivers impersonator. Claudia tells Don Jr. that Brande is the MVP of this task (no, Lil Jon is!), and that Dennis Rodman and Omarosa will be returning to the boardroom with her if need be. Then, the show provides Facebook links for us to help the winning project manager, whoever that may be, by liking the pages. Despicable.

Then, Farouk rolls in and confirms that, yes, he loves Uncle Sam. Farouk also likes Dennis Rodman, another American icon, so he is excited to listen to Dennis mumble on about Chi products. Claudia attempts to regain control of the guided tour. God, Claudia is stunning. She looks so good in that photo shoot.

Stephen Baldwin notices Farouk and his son walking toward the truck, so he alerts Marilu to their presence. Marilu is so annoyed having this heavy, spectrum-dwelling mosquito in her ear, that she continues wandering around aimlessly, rescuing Farouk and his son only moments before they fall prey to Gary Busey. Gary gets to them anyway, but the interaction is mercifully brief.

The executives go over the two experiences with Don Jr. and Arsenio, and it involves a lot of paraphrasing ("I noticed that Claudia Jordan's team had Little Jon dressed up as Uncle Sam, Farouk, was that good or bad?"). What I get from it is that Farouk likes basically everything, but especially that he gets to promote his products for two hours on this show.

In the boardroom, Donald Trump talks to Claudia and her team first. They think they won, and remark on how Brande is learning to hang out with black people better. Then Don Jr. asks Claudia to repeat who she called out as being the weakest players on her team. Omarosa seems surprised and offended to be lumped in with Dennis. Omarosa, master of the boardroom, over-values trips to the prop room.

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