Apprentice
Apprentice

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B+ | 608 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
The no-sell motel

And here comes Carolyn, returning Verna to the motel. "I'm going to get you something to drink, okay?" Carolyn asks in the car. "Thank you; this was a lesson I needed to learn," Verna says. Carolyn is like, "Um," and says, "Well, I don't know exactly what lesson you learned." "Well, I did," Verna says, trying to sound meaningful. "I needed to learn this lesson, and I thank you for that." Carolyn is, you can tell, tempted to leave before Verna can start singing about how you'll never walk alone or you have to climb every mountain or one of those other weird inspirational Rodgers and Hammerstein numbers. Verna says that she was really down, and she didn't have control, and so she realized she needed to stop trying to be the center of the team or something. And she needs to listen more. And sleep more, maybe.

Next thing you know, Verna is talking to Michael -- who may or may not have ever known she was gone -- about how she needed a "complete attitude and behavioral adjustment," and she's so sorry. She waves what I'm pretty sure is a bottle of Trump Ice as she tells Michael that if the team loses, she'll volunteer to go. It's a nice offer, but I...I really don't think she'll need to. Michael tells her not to worry; they'll win. Michael then goes for something inspirational: "Martin Luther King said the true sign of a man is when he's down." So apparently, the fact that she fled when things got difficult is a good thing. Or something. Or she's not "down" yet. Or...or something. And now Verna, only now seeming like she might be genuinely nutty, announces that her team is made up of "wonderful people." "I'm glad that I have so much to learn from them," she says. Yeesh. Trying to learn from other reality show contestants is a good way to wind up as a bartender with implants.

Danny and Bren sit around and talk to Verna, and Danny tries to make her feel better, which is probably merciful, if not necessarily all that wise. Danny says that she quit "because of pressure," not because she's not good. He thinks it took real character for her to come back. I would love to find out that she was gone for, like, fifteen minutes, because I kind of wonder. Erin gives Verna a hug, because everyone loves each other! Well, not so much in Erin's interview, in which she says Verna walking off could have made them lose. "Verna essentially sabotaged our blood, sweat, and tears," Erin says. Don't forget the paint, Erin. She sabotaged the paint. Erin also misses her own cliché when she says, "When the going got tough, Verna...quit." Oh, come ON! Boooo! Quote some Billy Ocean! "I want Verna to go home, I really do," Erin snots, over footage of Verna hugging other people on the team.

Apprentice

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