Motel 666

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
The no-sell motel

Danny and Bren sit around and talk to Verna, and Danny tries to make her feel better, which is probably merciful, if not necessarily all that wise. Danny says that she quit "because of pressure," not because she's not good. He thinks it took real character for her to come back. I would love to find out that she was gone for, like, fifteen minutes, because I kind of wonder. Erin gives Verna a hug, because everyone loves each other! Well, not so much in Erin's interview, in which she says Verna walking off could have made them lose. "Verna essentially sabotaged our blood, sweat, and tears," Erin says. Don't forget the paint, Erin. She sabotaged the paint. Erin also misses her own cliché when she says, "When the going got tough, Verna...quit." Oh, come ON! Boooo! Quote some Billy Ocean! "I want Verna to go home, I really do," Erin snots, over footage of Verna hugging other people on the team.

Later, we find ourselves in the Boardroom for the results. The candidates are seated, and then Trump enters and sits. He's wearing a tux today, and starts by telling Danny that it's not necessary to go quite that far on a normal occasion. Continuing to react to things in ways that don't make a lot of damn sense, Trump tells Verna that he heard about her meltdown. But then he heard about her comeback! He loves comebacks! So what does he have to say to her? "Congratulations." Oh, please. Trump does not love a comeback. Trump hates quitters, and he hates weirdos, and he hates people who need attention more than he does. That's absurd, "love a comeback."

Anyway, Trump goes to the results, and we start by looking at their rooms on the plasma screen. Net Worth's rooms look pretty good. Clearly, they painted, too, at least in some rooms. Or they did something, because they've eliminated much of the paneling. I'll give them props on the way the rooms turned out, at least in a picture. Their rooms do look pretty decorated. Brian looks around, happily smiling at his work. Then we go to the Magna rooms, which are clearly not as done-over. They've left much of the paneling as it was. "It doesn't look like Trump Tower to me," Trump says, not impressed. But he says that they both look nice. It's all going to come down to the surveys.

George reads some of the Net Worth reviews, praising the hospitable employees, but saying they're also kind of loud. And the rooms need more work. And apparently, the carpet was never even vacuumed. Ouch. That wouldn't even get you past my father, let alone a paying guest. Their average score on a five-star scale as 2.92. Then we move to Magna, which was praised for being really friendly and fun, but again, the room renovations weren't complete, and the paint smell was no fun at all. Their average score? 3.96. An ass-kicking on the star ratings, interestingly. Trump awards them the win, and Michael next week's exemption. And the reward for this week's task is a trip on Steve Forbes's yacht. Unfortunately, Steve Forbes's yacht includes Steve Forbes. And as for Net Worth? Somebody will be fired.

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