Apprentice
Motel 666

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The no-sell motel

Ding! Net Worth visits the Boardroom. Inside, they wait for Trump. He finally enters. He reminds the team that John is exempt. Unless, of course, he'd like to waive the exemption. Which John says he would not. So we'll move on.

Trump asks Brian how he felt about how the team, and Brian says something about how it "could have been a galliant [sic] trip," and I don't know where that metaphor was going, but it winds up upside-down in a ditch, spinning its wheels. Brian says that the problem was team cooperation. He doesn't think they worked well as a team. Consider that he was the team leader, Trump wonders, then, whether it was Brian's fault and they can avoid the whole process. "Do you think it's your fault that you lost?" Trump asks. "Should I fire you now?" Trump asks. "Yes, you should," Brian says. Interesting strategy. Trump looks around like he has no idea what to do. Angie wears a "Huh?" face. John makes a face and shakes his head, like, "Once a brain the size of a walnut, always a brain the size of a walnut." Trump finally laughs and says he's never been put in this position before. "Does everybody else feel that Brian should be fired?" he asks. Kristen, unsurprisingly, says that she does. She argues that the team had "no organization." She says Brian didn't delegate, and even though she was the accountant, he wouldn't talk to her about the budget. Trump asks whether Kristen gave Brian "a very hard time," and Angie's all about the sympathetic nodding. Kristen says she felt she "had to, sir," because Brian wanted money for construction. Trump basically asks her why she didn't respect the leader of her team. Brian argues that she wanted to do furnishings instead of a budget, and she insists that's not true. Regardless of who started or didn't start the discussion, Carolyn wonders why Brian didn't have a budget in place. Brian says he did, but George says he means a line-item budget, not just "$20,000 is the budget."

Brian argues that a budget would have taken too long. Oh, damn. George also asks Brian whether there was a plan or a timeline, and insists that without a timeline, there was never a chance they'd get all they intended to do done on time. Trump asks Audrey whether Kristen or Brian was more to blame for the problems. Audrey says that Brian was a bad leader, because he was the one with the authority to take Kristen off of the finances if he thought she was doing a bad job. In other words, if he and Kristen were locked in a room together tearing each other to pieces, he was the one who could have opened the door. Brian tells Audrey that they needed an accountant and a leader, and now he makes the truly remarkable move of complaining about swearing. "I have never told my accountant to go fuck himself," Brian says. "I have never told my accountant that, 'I hope you get fucking fired.'" And then he really gets silly, saying, "And this is the first time you've heard me curse. I did not curse at anybody during the task, and I received the brunt from this entire team." My favorite part is where John, my Partner In Snark, hears Brian claim not to swear at people and just raises the one index finger, like, "I know I'm not getting fired, but certain things cannot be allowed to stand, and 'Fuck This, Fuck That' Guy saying he doesn't curse is one of them." But John doesn't even have to say anything, because Carolyn simply steps in pleasantly to tell him she suggests he not swear in the Boardroom, even in quoting others. John does put in a little, "You cursed at me yesterday morning when you told me to F off."

Trump asks John what he, as the exempt person, is thinking. What did he think of Brian versus Kristen? John says that Brian's personality is so abrasive that he rubbed everyone on the team the wrong way, and it hurt them. "There is not another player on my team that could have done a better job than what we did," he says. Trump goes after Brian's series of mistakes. Spent too much on toilets. Didn't do the carpets. Left a mess. Trump wants to know who made those calls, and John simply says, "They were Brian's." Trump asks Craig what he thought of Brian's leadership, and Craig uses the word "lacking." Does Craig respect Brian? Well, he did before today. Ouch. Trump says that he did, too.

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Apprentice

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