Motel 666

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
The no-sell motel

Over at Net Worth, Brian is meeting up with George, who asks him how the team is doing. Brian goes on to basically complain to George that the team sucks, and he's doing all the work, because his team isn't willing to go along the way it should. "Right now, I am the team," he says. He delivers some particularly bad news when he gives it up to George that they're not replacing the carpeting for lack of funds. "When did you find that out?" George asks with great concern. "Last night," Brian says, trying to sound casual. As we watch Brian sweep the ugly carpeting with a big broom, George says he thinks it isn't looking good for their team. He's particularly unhappy that they're neglecting the carpeting. Indeed, the notion that you couldn't renovate without replacing the toilets, but you don't need to replace that crap-ass carpeting? Unbelievably poor judgment. The carpeting looks like it came from the bottom of a dog kennel, and the toilets were fine before. I'm telling you, unless you're planning on having people kick back and watch TV in the potty, that's backwards, and Brian wears every bit of that himself, having refused to sit down ahead of the time and figure out where the money was going to go. He keeps trying to sweep away the shame, but there is no chance.

In one of my favorite sequences, music honks as the mattresses are loaded in at the Net Worth motel. Carolyn pops into one of the rooms and sits her butt down on the edge. There's a crunching sound, and she immediately busts out a little smile. It's really a completely awesome moment, if you watch it carefully -- her face is like, "Um." And then almost immediately, it goes to, "Hee hee." She stands up and walks over to the corner of the bed. She pulls up the comforter. And the sheet. And she gets down to the mattress. Which still has a plastic cover over it. "Oh," she says simply. "That's what that noise is." We cut immediately to footage of Chris (I think) stretching fitted sheets over mattresses that still are covered in plastic. Carolyn explains that the team just didn't take the plastic off before they put on the sheets. "Which I don't understand too much," she interviews with a smile. We watch her back in the room, where she says -- apparently front of John -- that the sound of the bed is "a little crunchy." And then she just stands up and leaves. Awesome. When Carolyn is awesome, it just doesn't get any better. I'm so glad she seems to have dropped the sort of studied mean thing from last season. She's meaner when she's not trying, like most of us.

Magna. Danny welcomes some guests, who get a room assignment from Verna. Verna interviews that it's all about giving the guests the best and most satisfying experience possible. And then, of course, it's about leaving at random intervals. Oh, wait, I'm getting ahead of myself. Anyway, Danny shows the first set of guests to their room, where the guy immediately comments on the paint smell. I don't think that's a good sign. Back out at the counter, Verna checks in the next guest. "We kicked booty," Danny says. While holding his guitar. At least he doesn't sing about customer service at this juncture. As Danny is checking in guests, he semi-spontaneously starts telling them that there's going to be a little bit of a mingle session later, just outside the rooms and in the common spaces. He says that it worked, and people did indeed get to hanging around together that evening. We cut to the evening's festivities and see that it's also good because it gets them out of their incredibly paint-smelly rooms. Alex makes a paper-bag animal with a little girl, while Michael mingles with some customers who want to know guessed it, the paint smell. Stephanie explains that they just hung out with the customers, hoping that everybody would be happy. Stephanie insists it was just one big party, and indeed, a fair amount of pool-jumping and "woo!" seems to ensue. Danny reasons in an interview that their college educations came in handy here, because only college graduates know this much about standing around with people you don't even like because it's better than doing any work. Good point.

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