One Hit Blunder

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B | Grade It Now!
Lesson Nine: Your Life Is Not The Truman Show

The Final Six all look really nice -- Felisha has some inscrutable big hair and lots of makeup. It's soft but intense. I don't think she looks any prettier than normal -- she's very cute, I think -- but it's different. Makes you kind of jump. Trump talks about how it's "Week Nine of your thirteen-week interview," and how George is back, and introduces them to Jennifer Hawkins, Miss Universe from the Australia part of the universe. Why is she there? We'll learn shortly, and it's dumb. Trump lets them know that there will be no more exemptions after this point, and Rebecca and Felisha's reaction shots make this seem like a big deal? But really, it's not.

Then comes the time when we even things up, and it's weird and fake and ugly. Trump asks whether Clay's happy with his team (automatic no, no matter what team you're talking about), and mentions that they didn't give him an exemption. Clay says, stiltedly, that he would "love a change today." Trump fakely clarifies that he's "freely asking for a change," and Clay fakely reiterates that he'd " love a change." Asked for opinions, Adam says that although Clay is hard to deal with, this request shows a "lack of loyalty," Randal calls Clay "one of the most creative people in the suite right now," and Rebecca (getting weird and hardcore as usual) says that Clay hails from a "victorious" team, and that they'd be "honored to have him" on their team. I cannot precisely locate my love for Rebecca, so I can't expect you to understand it: I don't know if I want to work with Rebecca, for Rebecca, or if I just want to hang out and be BFF and do secret missions with Rebecca in the dead of night. Anyway, Trump "lets" Clay make the switch, like it's this huge issue -- but somebody was going to jump, and either way Clay would be in contention, so…it's pretty much not. Randal hugs Clay, and then Clay hugs Rebecca incredibly awkwardly, without looking at her, like she's a five-year-old with a dirty face at a family reunion.

Trump explains Jennifer from Australia: the Trumpanies are "always on the search and lookout for new talent," and with Jennifer they've "found a winner." Luckily, we don't have to watch Carolyn burst into laughter, then tears, at this. Trump wants the Apprenti to develop new talent in a different but no-less-sexy in-dust-ry, the radio in-dust-ry. He explains that XM Satellite Radio has a value of $9.5B, 150 channels, and millions of subscribers. So that's this week's awkward segue: he "auditioned" Miss Universe -- which has no talent competition, even as a token nod to it being two centuries since that shit was unacceptable -- and found her to be "sexy," just like the radio in-dust-ry. God, he's creepy. They'll find an artist with the most talent, write a song and produce the track, and then the song will be played on one of XM's premiere stations, XM Café. The team whose song best fits the format wins.

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