Apprentice
Apprentice

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: D | 770 USERS: C+
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Lesson Two: Be The Good Kind Of Gay

He puts it on. They all stare at his batch. For a million years. It is saying hello, and how are you, and I think something in French. In context, like the beach or Geffen's backyard deck, it would make sense, at least. But half the issue at this very moment is that he's standing in the middle of a tailoring workshop and everybody else is wearing business suits, and he's wearing... his business. And speaking French. To Frank. Who -- with a very sad, very lovable face -- says he likes it. Carey explains that this is for one consumer, a fellow with a great body, who is going to the beach, and who wants you to look at him. Everybody fills in the other stuff the hypothetical grape-seller is looking for; I thank God that Martin is gone or I believe that he would have fallen down dead at this moment. I wouldn't have been surprised by anybody dropping dead this point. It's startling. This should not have happened. Aaron -- still gaping -- talks like he saw The Ring six days ago: "It's so... different... " More staring.

Tim interviews, shaking his head hilariously, that he thought it was a female bikini bottom, and even thought Carey was making a funny joke at first, by putting it on even though it was for ladies. Michelle, of course, is upfront: "I don't like it." The camera slides around fisheye and focuses on Carey's badonk for a while, just so you know it's there in the room with them, as he explains to her that this is what Trina likes. Michelle reiterates (I'm sure 87 times, of which we see the last) that she doesn't like it, and Carey assures her that her disapproval is now "falling on deaf ears." If only there were a Project Manager... oh, there she is. Interviewing with us. About how Michelle is the problem here.

Nicole explains to us how, in business, if you don't agree with a person's task-losing decision and personal fuckup, sometimes -- even if it's going to result in you living on the lawn for two more weeks -- the best thing you can do is just keep your trap shut. I'm not kidding, I'm not exaggerating. She says, "You keep going," and that the reason Michelle sucks is that she doesn't have that ability to shut her trap and let everybody do whatever they want, no matter how horrible. "A lot of the guys aren't connecting with Michelle." I don't know if she means "guys" there literally or figuratively, but I don't think I'm stepping too far off book when I suggest that the approval PM "Hi, Boys" Nicole is looking for might have certain qualifications. And if I'm right, she could win this season. Michelle tells Carey, who knows damn well, that she feels like he's not even listening to her. She interviews that Carey is an opinion-pusher and if you don't like his opinion, it's too bad. And yeah, Carey is being abhorrent -- on screen, he's getting angry, in his little tiny suit -- but especially so for a Project Manager, which he seems to somehow have become. Only if that's the case does this behavior make sense, from any of them. But he's not. He's a team member, using his dubious gay-adjacent fashion cachet to intimidate his teammates into agreeing with him. Which is sucky, but personal to him, and as was pointed out to me, is basically making a Tara mistake: using perceived personal attachment to a tangential concern in order to make a statement in the middle of the task and act somehow as a role model. The rest of them are assholes for not telling him to shut it well before this point, and getting on with the task.

Apprentice

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