Apprentice
Apprentice

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: D | 770 USERS: C+
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Lesson Two: Be The Good Kind Of Gay

So the reason for all this is that there are six suits for each team, but only four models for each team, so one man and one woman from each team have to model a suit. That's Aimee and Surya, of course, and you just know Carey's there (he claims to have been talked into it, which I have mixed feelings about, because Aaron and Tim are at least as good-looking as he is, minus the complicating factors). Frank and Aaron talk Nicole into walking the runway, just like she wanted them to, because at this point I wouldn't be surprised if there is a tiny part of her that hopes she'll be picked by a talent agent at the fashion show who will be so impressed with the diamond in the rough that he will whisk her away from this whole gross venture and also he will be a European prince and they will get married. (Which is in fact what's going to happen, only the part of the European prince/modeling agent is played, improbably enough, by Tim.) Everybody gets ready, a makeup tech tries to silk-purse Nicole's face as Carey -- wearing the suit -- shakes hands with still visibly unsure Aaron. Trump arrives with some poor assistant and kneels at a campfire log to take off his shoes and socks, tossing one sock over his head in a flagrant "check my coolness factor" way, and of course it lands on the poor girl's head. Which is the metaphor for this entire show in like every way, down to the assistant laughing hysterically about how funny it was that he threw his disgusting sock at her and it landed on her head, and how she's started making little cuts on her legs alone in the bathroom at work. His feet are like a deadly white waterlogged corpse as he approaches the crowd in the stands; they applaud for the same reason groups always applaud for Trump, that reason being that this is a really confusing time for our country in general.

Apprentice

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