Andie lets Arrow into the Trump mansion, and Nicole greets Ivanka and Heidi as they enter, looking hangdog and guilty as ever. That's just her natural face: discomfited. Ivaka is wearing an awesome red shirt with satin trim or whatever; Trump's -- I mean, come on -- wearing a pink banker-collar shirt and fuchsia tie. You are in the Matrix. He's wearing a pink shirt and tie, disingenuously, in a room that's full of cameras and lights, about to lead the charge. How hard is this to figure out? He screams at them about whether they just enjoy losing, and asks what's wrong with them. Nicole offers, whinily, that they took a risk, and Trump tells her that a risk it was not. (He's wrong.) He points out that they lost precisely on men's suits, because the women's suits did fine. "Whose idea was the tight suit?" he asks, and Nicole explains that "ultimately," Carey was in charge of men's suits. Like he ran off with them to another room and threatened to bite her if she came in. (Which: valid, but grow a pair.)
Trump's really on the ball this week. I actually like him a lot in this boardroom, except for a few minor things coming up. He goes less and less to the subtle Dad-style deadpan humor, and I miss that. "I have a great body, I really do," he says, giving Frank a giggle, "I could wear that suit, Carey, and you could wear that suit... " But nobody else at the table. Nicole rolls her eyes snottily: "Mr. Trump, come on." Cut to Aaron, of course, who should try it on just in case, I think. Everybody laughs, and Heidi, perfectly polished apple in hand: "They may be able to, but would they?" Which is a good and central point, but the way she says it is so ... who's that chick with the pigtails on Rugrats? She's like that. Sam McPherson on Popular is how superior she can get. Just eminently mockable. I really do want to like her, but this week she's a little gross. Carey nods that not many people would, perhaps, and Trump tries to get back to his train of thought: "You looked good in the suit, but ... " Nicole, out of nowhere, snorts, "I woulda worn the suit, as a bottom!" Shut up, dude. Carey explains that there are gay people in the world who buys things, and Ivanka tries to explain -- and for all I know she's the first person to actually do so -- that these are not consumers, but buyers. Whose job depends on understanding the entire market, not just the one that applies to you, the designer. And also: Carey said gay. Which means everybody can now say gay, and imply it even when they don't say it, and this just got stupid. Carey has dropkicked us out of the world where that's off the table.