Pink Is The New Black

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: D | Grade It Now!
Lesson Two: Be The Good Kind Of Gay

Michelle (weird, watch!): "I didn't understand why the pink, for the bikini -- I call it a bikini, it's for a man -- I had several tough questions to ask."
Trump: "I'm wearing a pink tie so I can't say anything, because that means I'm okay with gay people, but I wouldn't go so far as wearing a pink bathing suit, in that my understanding is that it would turn my penis gay. You know, there's a difference between a pink tie, and a pink bathing suit, in Trump world."

Nicole admits, in a weirdly edited moment, that she totally signed on for pink in the men's suits, because pink is the new black, and that's your title right there. Except that title is horrifically offensive, considering black was also the new pink this week. Stupid fucking show.

Trump, still awesome: "No! Pink Is The New Black doesn't apply to bathing suits!"
Ivanka, laughing: "Or spandex!"

Nicole, rasping and gross as ever, equivocates on behalf of nobody but the spirit of arguing when you should be shutting up that it might work on a longer bathing suit, and Trump asks them outright why Michelle is ever there. Carey, who needs to hush, explains the kind of man he is: the kind who can "get over her disruptiveness," because -- he hastens to point out -- he's "a team player," and on teams, "you're going to have some kinks." He brings up Michelle's waffling about the price point and shouts, "You can't be indecisive, Mr. Trump!" Trump remembers how "price point" was the Bloody Mary of last week, but this week it wasn't -- it had nothing to do with the price. "Good point, that's a good point," Carey says. At which point I wanted him fired. Carey's like, but coming off that loss, we were all dicey about that, so why waffle at that time? Ivanka asks if he's saying that she was hedging and wouldn't step up, and Nicole -- pushing to get rid of Michelle, just like Tim and Aaron want her to, which is how great PMs always work -- starts off on a thing about how even though it had no bearing on their loss, it was still a big disaster to have her there not giving an opinion on something that had nothing to do with her. Carey, obnoxiously to the eleventh degree, tries to hop on her declaration so it seems as though they're saying the same thing at the same time, because he's such a freaking team player, but says "thing" where Nicole says "disaster," and it's just... these people. I don't know what to do about them. They suck so bad.

"Absolutely! That's what I'm saying! If you're going to be a leader, if you're going to be the next Apprentice, you have to step up and make a decision!" Unless, of course, you've been very honest and rational about not caring. "It was not being indecisive, Carey, it was being smart," Michelle says, and he hisses, "It was being safe." She reminds him of how she didn't have any of the research and hadn't been involved in that part of the task at any point, just like she said at the time right before he started bitching. Heidi agrees with her. "You have a group delegated to choose pricing, that's what they do. The entire group is not responsible for that." Michelle nods: "I would never do that on the fly like that." Heidi shakes her head. "You find out who's good at that, and make them responsible." She tells Trump straight-up that Michelle shouldn't even be there. I agree, and I like the way Heidi said those things, because it wasn't obnoxious and it was smart, and was I think more like regular Heidi: find the problem, fix the problem, remember what you did for next time. On to the next thing. I hope that's the deal there.

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