Pink Is The New Black

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Jacob Clifton: D | Grade It Now!
Lesson Two: Be The Good Kind Of Gay

Then: fucking Regis Philbin. Really? I miss when he was the butt of jokes. I know he's probably a fine person and he really is a professional, and you know how much I love his daughter, so I'm sure he's a good dad and man, but my God with the voice and the face and the mugging and the nervous affect. Why is he here? Not even Trump can tell us, he just points him out to Kinetic and they clap and Jenn offers him a tour of the house. Nobody asks why he's here, which is just as well. Trump calls him "Reege," which is fine. Surya does a good job presenting the logo and whatever, he's very confident and speaks well, and then Derek calls Regis "Reege," and Trump is menacing about it but then everybody laughs and it's kind of awkward.

Outside, "Arrow" schmucks around about what if this and what if that and whatever, and Michelle wants to present the logo but doesn't want to be the one leading the pack but wants to be the one talking but doesn't want to... whatever. She's an overthinker, and I don't mean in the Frank way where thinking is bad, just in the way where she thinks too hard about everything and ends up stalling out. You see it in her syntax, where the weird constructions and strange phrasing all have to do with trying to answer every question at once, or get as many details and truths in there as possible. Like lawyer talk, only... she's not that great at it. Like last week, calling the tent their "first pseudo-task." Makes sense, is not untrue, and yet implies a certain retardation on the part of the listening party that they might somehow confuse building a tent with washing a car, so she just wants to be clear. Trump and Reege appear, Trump explains about the tents to Regis and how Regis knows all about being a winner. Michelle takes control and right out the gate: "The company that we call ourselves is Arrow Corporation." The hmm? And you know if you asked why she said it that weird way, she'd tell you exactly why, but it's like, if you're going to fit in with us Earthlings, you have to talk like us or somebody is going to catch on. Like this, or in other ways not clearly expressed in the above paragraph or otherwise disclosed, is the way that at all times, including the present meeting and in previous and future business environments, she speaks, for reasons that have not been previously laid out or otherwise made clear, to her associates.

The sign looks like ass. Hot buttered ass in pink paisley hotpants. Trump says, tangential to the task at hand or indeed any reasoned discourse at all, that "passion breeds success." He asks if Michelle has "a lot of passion," and instead of mowing him down in his tracks with her passion for misused language, she barks, "I have so much passion!" Which... the first thing I would say about Michelle would probably not be "unbridled." It would be "Mind Map," because you know she's all over that shit. She officiates about how their mission is to be a "globally recognized corporation," and goes on a serious word hike. Does she know this is pretend? That it's actually a game show? Carey explains her in terms of her predilection for creating "moments," how everything she does, she does it in the spirit of making it "a moment to remember forever." HA! That's hilarious. The thing is, though, that these qualities are linked, and all they really mean is that her brain goes everywhere at once, like the red-shifting universe all around us, which is just as awesome and useful as it can be a hindrance. Inclusive, expansive, contingent thinking is just as helpful as deductive reasoning, and just as scary if it's the only tool you've got.

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