Pink Is The New Black

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: D | Grade It Now!
Lesson Two: Be The Good Kind Of Gay

Cutting and designing. Soak it up, because the task is over faster than this sentence. (Thirteen minutes into the episode, in fact. Remember when this show was about people doing things? That's over. Now it's about people taking a moment or two out of their busy shit-starting schedule to do things we don't get to see, and returning to the previously started shit.) The pink paisley man-panties are completed, and are unlined. Which ... the reason you want to line regular-length trunks has to do with visibility issues, but the reason you line a bikini or this kind of thing is completely different. But just as vital. Carey wows in interview about how something went from his head to a piece of paper to a piece of unlined, paisley spandex, and how amazing it is. And I will say right now: it is. Both in the way he means it, in that I'm fascinated by consumer arts like this where your art is also a durable, usable object... and in the way of how it is amazing, what has happened here.

He puts it on. They all stare at his batch. For a million years. It is saying hello, and how are you, and I think something in French. In context, like the beach or Geffen's backyard deck, it would make sense, at least. But half the issue at this very moment is that he's standing in the middle of a tailoring workshop and everybody else is wearing business suits, and he's wearing... his business. And speaking French. To Frank. Who -- with a very sad, very lovable face -- says he likes it. Carey explains that this is for one consumer, a fellow with a great body, who is going to the beach, and who wants you to look at him. Everybody fills in the other stuff the hypothetical grape-seller is looking for; I thank God that Martin is gone or I believe that he would have fallen down dead at this moment. I wouldn't have been surprised by anybody dropping dead this point. It's startling. This should not have happened. Aaron -- still gaping -- talks like he saw The Ring six days ago: "It's so... different... " More staring.

Tim interviews, shaking his head hilariously, that he thought it was a female bikini bottom, and even thought Carey was making a funny joke at first, by putting it on even though it was for ladies. Michelle, of course, is upfront: "I don't like it." The camera slides around fisheye and focuses on Carey's badonk for a while, just so you know it's there in the room with them, as he explains to her that this is what Trina likes. Michelle reiterates (I'm sure 87 times, of which we see the last) that she doesn't like it, and Carey assures her that her disapproval is now "falling on deaf ears." If only there were a Project Manager... oh, there she is. Interviewing with us. About how Michelle is the problem here.

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