Apprentice

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M. Giant: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Quality, Value, And Chaos

Three-quarters of Hydra -- Omarosa, Carol, and Lennox -- celebrate another victory, while Piers sits stone-faced, pissed that he has to be on the same planet with Omarosa. For Omarosa's part, she interviews that Trump must like her, since he moved her away from Piers. Empresario makes its entrance slowly, one person at a time, to maximize the drama -- Trace, then Marilu, then Tito, with Stephen showing up last and announcing that for the first time in history, Trump didn't fire anyone. Stephen certainly is a scholar of the show, isn't he? Piers says he's glad that Omarosa is being traded off his team for Marilu, and swears that he never wants to speak to Omarosa again. We can all hope.

After the credits, Piers get to have a restorative phone call with the representative of his charity, the Intrepid Fallen Heroes Fund. He promises that this has reminded him what it's all about. So we can look forward to a kinder, gentler Piers from now on, right?

The Apprenti meet Trump and the Trumplets at a heliport, where Trump tells them that they're being flown via chopper to the headquarters of home shopping channel QVC in Pennsylvania, where each team will put on a ten-minute sequence selling some useless crap to gullible shut-ins on live TV. ["Copying tasks from Martha, Trump?" -- Joe R] The team making the most money wins, plus n extra $20,000 for the winning team's PM. Stephen steps up to be Empresario's PM, and Marilu is going to be PM for Hydra. Trump tries to stir up some Omarosa crap, but Piers says, "That was yesterday," ostentatiously over it.

The two teams' choppers deliver them to the QVC office. Piers says they need to pimp Lewis out again, despite Trump having told him to knock it off a few weeks ago. Lennox has his own ambitions: to direct, and also maybe be a little less hung over. Piers refers to the former heavyweight champ as "Sleepy-Boy." As for Sleepy-Boy himself, he interviews, in all seriousness, "What I really want to do is direct."

The two teams meet in a cavernous studio with a couple of QVC execs to introduce the six new products they get to pick from. There's a magnifying mirror, a utility tool kit, an epically boring bamboo storage drawer with little compartments, an electric frying pan, a rechargeable electric sweeper, and a combination folding ladder/hand truck. So the teams split up to discuss which products they want. Both teams love the ladder/cart, so let's sit back and wait for the sparks to fly.

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Apprentice

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