Apprentice

Ep.	Title	Air/Pub'l	Grade	Author
8-11 Weecap	May The Best Woman Win Episode 11 - It's a vicious, ugly catfight between Joan Rivers and Annie Duke, but Trump totally makes the right decision -- after three long hours.	2009.05.10 2009.05.11	B+	DeAnn Welker
8-10 Weecap	Catfight! Episode 10 - A songwriting task has a surprising outcome, and then Piers essentially chooses the final two. And, let me tell you, it is so on for next week's finale.	2009.05.03 2009.05.04	C	DeAnn Welker
8-9 Weecap	Rivers = Crazy Episode 9 - When one of the Rivers women is fired, they both act completely insane. Or, wait, that's actually not an act.	2009.04.26 2009.04.27	C	DeAnn Welker
8-8 Weecap	Jesse's Girl Episode 8 - Two boardrooms, one extremely long episode, lots of fighting between Annie and Joan, and someone finally has the guts to ask Jesse why he doesn't ask his famous wife for donations.	2009.04.19 2009.04.20	C+	Angel Cohn
8-7 Weecap	Girl Fight! Episode 7 - If you thought Clint and Joan hated each other, just wait until Joan turns her wrath on Annie this week. Melissa hates Annie, too, but she's snarky about it, which is actually much more fun. And that all happens after someone's fired.	2009.04.12 2009.04.13	B	DeAnn Welker
8-6 Weecap	Karma's a Bitch Episode 6 - I don't think Clint's necessarily thankful that Khloe drove drunk, but it sure helped him out this week. Oh, and Tionne pulls a Baldford. If you get that reference, you've been watching this show way too long, just like the rest of us.	2009.04.05 2009.04.06	C	DeAnn Welker
8-5 Weecap	Dennis has a Problem Episode 5 - First, the guy might be crazy. Also, he has a drinking problem. And then there's the fact that he's fired. It's been fun to watch him, but it's totally his time to go.	2009.03.29 2009.03.30	A-	DeAnn Welker
8-4 Weecap	It's About Damn Time Episode 4 - Finally, a task that favors the men, and they win easily, even with Dennis stuck on the bench all episode.	2009.03.22 2009.03.23	B-	DeAnn Welker
8-3 Weecap	It's A Woman's World Episode 3 - Who would have guessed that in another task geared towards women (selling wedding dresses), Team Athena would emerge triumphant once more? Oh, right, everyone would have guessed that.	2009.03.15 2009.03.16	C	DeAnn Welker
8-2 Weecap	Thin Ice Episode 2 - A superhero challenge is anything but comic relief as tension grows on Team Athena and the rift grows on Team Kotu. In the end, PM Scott's soft leadership falls to Tom's clever machinations.	2009.03.08 2009.03.09	B-	Lady Lola
8-1 Weecap	Who's the Biggest Loser? Episode 1 - Dennis Rodman, Herschel Walker and Andrew Dice Clay walk into a boardroom, and who do you think gets fired? It's harder than you'd think, isn't it?	2009.03.01 2009.03.02	B	DeAnn Welker
7-13 Weecap	Under the Hammer Under the Hammer - Trump makes his choice between the nice guy and the successful guy. Try to act surprised.	2008.03.28 2008.03.28	C+	M. Giant
7-12 Weecap	Going Once, Twice, You're Fired Going Once, Twice, You're Fired - Trace and Piers begin the final confrontation.	2008.03.20 2008.03.21	B-	M. Giant
7-11 Weecap	Bread And Badda-Bing Bread And Badda-Bing - Never mind the misspelling in the episode title; the hinted-at Vinnie Pastore cameo never happened anyway.	2008.03.13 2008.03.14	B-	M. Giant
7-10 Weecap	Painting By Numbers Painting By Numbers - What happens if Omarosa loses to Piers by a 20-to-1 margin? Well, we'll never know, because she loses worse than that.	2008.03.06 2008.03.06	B+	M. Giant
7-9 Weecap	The Money Shot The Money Shot - Tito scores the most profitable loss of his career.	2008.02.28 2008.02.29	C-	M. Giant
7-8 Weecap	Quality, Value, And Chaos Quality, Value, And Chaos - The teams compete to sell you crap you don't need. More so than usual, we mean.	2008.02.21 2008.02.22	B-	M. Giant
7-7 Weecap	The Mane Event The Mane Event - The episode title isn't just a lame pun; it's a prizefight up in here.	2008.02.14 2008.02.14	B+	M. Giant
7-6 Weecap	Window Of Opportunity Window Of Opportunity - To dump your Telemundo stock, that is.	2008.02.07 2008.02.07	B-	M. Giant
7-5 Weecap	The Croc And The Rat The Croc And The Rat - Those shoes are made for walking, and that's just what Vinnie does. In circles.	2008.01.31 2008.02.01	B-	M. Giant
7-4 Weecap	A Knight On Broadway A Knight On Broadway - There are a lot of hits on Broadway, and Empresario takes one of them.	2008.01.24 2008.01.24	B-	M. Giant
7-3 Weecap	Mr. Outside The Box Mr. Outside The Box - Gene is so sure he led the women to victory in this task that he gets himself fired rather than risk having to admit otherwise.	2008.01.17 2008.01.17	B-	M. Giant
7-2 Weecap	Task: Pedigree Community Awareness Ad Task: Pedigree Community Awareness Ad - Who can make a better ad with cute animals and emotional appeal? It's not who you'd think.	2008.01.10 2008.01.10	B-	M. Giant
7-1 Weecap	Task: Selling Hot Dogs Task: Selling Hot Dogs - There are plenty of wieners to go around.	2008.01.03 2008.01.03	B	M. Giant
6-14 Recap	Lessons Learned Season 6 Decision Time - Trump takes out first Frankie and Nikki, then -- for reasons only known to him -- James, resulting in one of the only legitimate winners in the history of this show. That takes up five minutes; the rest is mostly Hair and whinging.	2007.04.22 2007.04.27	B	Jacob
6-13 Recap	Lesson Thirteen: Stinky Bums Are Definitely Funny The Final Four - Totally Bizarre: Nicole ROCKS, Frank is HELPFUL and MOTIVATED, and Stefani SAYS and DOES things. In front of everybody! Less Bizarre: James is deluded and sucky; returnees Tim and Surya say nothing for the entire task. Not That Bizarre At All Really: returnees Aaron and Angela turn invisible, while the stronger personalities shine; Don's hair reaches weirdness levels equaling that of his father's.	2007.04.15 2007.04.20	A	Jacob
6-12 Recap	Lesson Twelve: Go With Your Gut Las Vegas, Baby! - The tents are gone, there are no more Project Managers, the Apprenti reshuffle into three teams, and the world is finally rid of the strong, independent, beautiful, intelligent women of Kinetic.	2007.04.08 2007.04.13	B	Jacob
6-11 Recap	Lesson Eleven: The Smartness Is In The Science! Shut Your Smartmouth - But Frank's is still M.I.A., as Tim openly states when he gets backed into the corner during this season's second-grossest boardroom.	2007.1.001 2007.04.06	C	Jacob
6-10 Recap	Lesson Ten: After This Interview I'm Still Me Girls On Rollerskates - Angela learns that Olympian and Workhorse are not an entire person; Frank continues to be weirdly awesome; Tim and Nicole have strengths and weaknesses some more.	2007.03.25 2007.03.31	B	Jacob
6-9 Recap	Lesson Nine: Pain Is Temporary Soap Gets In Your Eyes - Trump's continuing breakdown in the face of massive disrespect hits another level; Nicole is gross in a bathroom; Heidi reveals her awesome true reality.	2007.03.18 2007.03.22	A	Jacob
6-8 Recap	Lesson Eight: The Level Of Our Incompetence Bend It Like Donald - A half-time show for some soccer team I've never heard of means skits about vitamins, lots of bitching, the exposure of James's CYA nature, and Muna's emergence into the radar. In other news, it's really hard to create compelling or fun skits about vitamins.	2007.03.11 2007.03.17	A	Jacob
6-7 Recap	Lesson Seven: Sometimes The Joke Is Not On You Life In The Luxury Lane - Jenn and Derek are double-cobra'd in the sweetest, funniest, weirdest episode in recent memory. A car that is also a witch, a woman who is also a robot, and a switcheroo of trash and class. Oh, and SNOOP.	2007.03.04 2007.03.09	A+	Jacob
6-6 Recap	Lesson Six: Accessibility Is Never Politically Incorrect Travel Sweepstakes Smackdown - Everybody gets tongue-tied when a language barrier sends Kinetic out to the yard again, and Tim kisses Nicole on the mouth, whilst sitting in a tree.	2007.02.18 2007.02.23	B	Jacob
6-5 Recap	Lesson Five: Speak Up. Or: Don't, Depending To Bee Or Not To Bee - Aaron loses a honey-marketing task by wandering about aimlessly, sending Team Arrow back to the yard; Aimee remains Kinetic PM despite also wandering about aimlessly.	2007.02.11 2007.02.16	B	Jacob
6-4 Recap	Lesson Four: Don't Use Your Words Drive-Thru Duel - A mere bowl of chicken and mangos destroys everything Heidi has worked so hard for -- except the continuing hypnosis under which her team continues to labor.	2007.01.28 2007.02.02	B	Jacob
6-3 Recap	Lesson Three: Finite & Infinite Games Hollywood Walk Of Shame - Michelle engages in violence against words and the game itself, freaking out everybody involved with the show, after an Arrow v. Arrow task sends Kinetic to the spa for a day of relaxation and yet more drinking.	2007.01.22 2007.01.25	B	Jacob
6-2 Recap	Lesson Two: Be The Good Kind Of Gay Pink Is The New Black - Nicole leads Team Arrow to another loss after failing to control the monster that is Carey's crotch, wounding Trump perhaps permanently.	2007.01.14 2007.01.19	D	Jacob
6-1 Recap	Lesson One: Jump That Shark Like You Mean It To Have And Have Not - Perpetual PM Heidi wins the first task: a car wash; Loser PM Frank takes Martin into the boardroom, then shreds eardrums for the remainder of the episode.	2007.01.07 2007.01.12	A	Jacob
5-15 Recap	Lesson Fifteen: Shed Your Personality Like So Many Unwanted Pounds Season 5 Finale - Sean and Lee, the least memorable personages ever to grace your screen past Week Five, go head-to-head in a battle so uninteresting they don't even bother to show it.	2006.06.05 2006.06.14	C	Jacob
5-14 Recap	Lesson Fourteen: Accountability Is A Choice The Final Battle - The final task gets underway, as Team Lee freaks out their corporate and charity sponsors while doing nothing to prepare for the Barenaked Ladies, while Team Sean loses their PM to fake romance and a team member to Ebola.	2006.05.29 2006.06.03	A-	Jacob
5-13 Recap	Lesson Thirteen: You Are His Bitch, He Will Be Hanging His Slam On You Who Wears The Pants? - A fashion-design task proves once again that you can't keep a good man down, or a couple of mediocre ones, even -- but you can do whatever you want to the ladies.	2006.05.22 2006.05.27	B	Jacob
5-12 Recap	Lesson Twelve: Use Your Words Backs Against The Wal-Mart - The Commemorative Stacie J sisterhood breakdown comes later this year than usual, but the result is the same: the Synergy Xbox task goes down in flames even though the Rush project looks like hell, and PM Tammy goes home.	2006.05.15 2006.05.21	B	Jacob
5-12 Recap	Lesson Twelve: Use Your Words Backs Against The Wal-Mart - The Commemorative Stacie J sisterhood breakdown comes later this year than usual, but the result is the same: the Synergy Xbox task goes down in flames even though the Rush project looks like hell, and PM Tammy goes home.	2006.05.15 2006.05.20	B	Jacob
5-11 Recap	Lesson Eleven: Don't Share Bitches Back To School - Outback and Rutgers proves an unbeatable combination for Synergy and PM Roxanne, while PM Lee loses for the first time as a team leader, and "fires" Michael.	2006.05.08 2006.05.13	A	Jacob
5-10 Recap	Lesson Ten: Girls R Just Dum Blow Out - A task in a hair salon turns every male candidate into a lumbering idiot, because that's how not gay they are, and Trump into something really terribly troubling. PM Charmaine and anti-PM Tarek finally both get the boot.	2006.04.31 2006.05.06	F	Jacob
5-9 Recap	Lesson Nine: You Can't Bulk-Sell Bullshit Assault On Battery - Gold Rush does a Fatality move on Synergy, beating them not only soundly but brilliantly, under the watchful eye of Lady Liberty. Both Ivanka and Donald, Jr. are there to watch it, which somehow makes it even more amazing, but not as amazing as watching Andrea's heart grow three sizes on the cab ride home.	2006.04.24 2006.04.29	A	Jacob
5-8 Recap	Lesson Eight: Horatio Alger Is Mother Goose For Weasels A Slice Of Heaven - The self-mythologizing of Lee goes into turbo mode as we remember what he's really like, and try to invent more Jewish holidays so he'll go away again. Leslie gets fired, but...I don't believe we've met.	2006.04.10 2006.04.16	B-	Jacob
5-7 Recap	Lesson Seven: Speak My Language It's More Than Décor - PM Michael does not lead Synergy to victory, exactly, but PM Lenny screws up amazingly enough that he gets a boot via the Boys and Girls Club rec room task.	2006.04.10 2006.04.15	C+	Jacob
5-6 Recap	Lesson Six: Trump's Your Momma Now King Of The Jingle - Yet another candidate falls prey to the idea that there are points for good behavior, while behaving horribly. A surfeit of all-natural chicken melodies about all-natural chicken, pissy tantrums, creepy Brit-centric threesomes, and an almost-complete lack of Andrea send Bryce home nuttier than he started.	2006.04.03 2006.04.08	B-	Jacob
5-5 Recap	Lesson Five: Zip It! How Many Times Do You Need To Hear This? Cruise Control - Dan asks politely to be fired after a disastrous ad campaign for a cruise line causes Tarek to revert to his pre-Clockwork state. Roxanne leads everybody in Synergy to victory, and Andrea leads herself over the edge altogether.	2006.03.27 2006.04.01	A-	Jacob
5-4 Recap	Lesson Four: How To Sell Brent Michael Buckman Down The River Once Again Cereal Killers - Synergy PM Tammy and her Mean Girl BFF Andrea successfully destroy the lambent hope of Brent; Gold Rush Charmaine makes good; everybody eats boxes and boxes of an unpronounceable cereal.	2006.03.20 2006.03.25	A+	Jacob
5-3 Recap	Lesson Three: Holidays Are For The Lazy Get It In Gear - Lenny goes nuts on every single person, Brent is almost eaten by a shark, Theresa loses her mind, Tarek loses his jerkiness, Andrea is a great manager but has emotional problems, and we still haven't gotten word one from the majority of the contestants, because this show is even more of a freakshow this year than ever before.	2006.03.13 2006.03.18	A	Jacob
5-2 Recap	"You Are Chaos And Disorganization!" The Razor's Edge - Brent's continuing whirlwind of bullcrap bounces off Boyfriend Bill and sticks to both Pepi, who sucks as a PM unbelievably, and Stacy, who's admittedly kind of a jerk to Brent anyway.	2006.03.06 2006.03.11	A-	Jacob
5-1 Recap	Lesson One: Competence Is Only Skin Deep Summer Of Sam's - The best team-picking exercise in the history of the show takes place this season, as a beauty pageant on a dusky Long Island airport runway. Lenny, Lee, and Summer all suffer Tarek's wrath, but it's Summer who throws herself in front of a bullet labeled "Tarek" at the last moment, and is sent home for the simple reason of her immense stupidity.	2006.02.28 2006.03.03	A	Jacob
4-13 Recap	Lesson Thirteen: People Aren't Metaphors Season Finale - Randal and Rebecca go head-to-head, and one after the other, Trump first hands them the Apprenticeship and then snatches it away. Rebecca is offered a job the next day by Yahoo!, while Randal gets to spend the next year lame-ducking it up in an office that even Kelly wouldn't abide. Sole winner: Trump, but then, he has to be Trump. Every single day.	2005.12.15 2005.12.20	A	Jacob
4-12 Recap	Lesson Twelve: The Customer Is Always "Right" The Final Showdown - Randal and Rebecca go head-to-head with their hand-picked teams, but a mysteriously disappearing Joe Piscopo and a suddenly appearing thunderstorm make sure that it's all of us who have the last laugh.	2005.12.08 2005.12.13	A-	Jacob
4-11 Recap	Lesson Eleven: Be Bold, And Mighty Forces Will Come To Your Aid To Lead Or Not To Lead - "Goethe said that. It's not too late for you to become a person of substance." Boldness is the watchword as Felisha and Alla approach mutually assured destruction, while Randal and Rebecca finally complete that freaky mind-meld they've been working on. After a disastrous Microsoft promo video, we quickly go to an Excel final two, as the remaining members of the Bloven are sent packing.	2005.11.31 2005.12.04	A-	Jacob
4-10 Recap	Lesson Ten: Keep It In The Aughts Shaniagans - Excel and Capital Edge take it to the limit, horse-and-buggy style, celebrating the life and smell of Shania Twain. PM Randal overcomes PM Alla for like the hundredth time, thanks in largest part to a bad Adam idea, but also because Rebecca and Randal totally serve them up a nice hot cup of industrial espionage.	2005.11.24 2005.11.24	B+	Jacob
4-9 Recap	Lesson Nine: Your Life Is Not The Truman Show One Hit Blunder - It's international a-go-go as The Sovereign Nation of Clay is tread on for the last time by new team Excel. Alla, Adam, and Capital Edge PM Felisha are revealed as the blandest kids in Blandonia, and thereby win the task, adorably. Meanwhile, Randal and Rebecca take a short trip to Fake Nigeria, where they are busted for lots of little things by Trump.	2005.11.17 2005.11.19	B+	Jacob
4-8 Recap	Lesson Eight: If There Is No "Try," You're All Screwed Store Wars - If you've heard of this "Star Wars" thing, you might understand this episode, but...I, for one, have never heard of it. In fact, the only people who have are Trump and Randal, but this doesn't save Excel from a crash-and-burn that leaves both Brian and Marshawn in the wreckage. Meanwhile, Clay proves me right about him one hundred more times.	2005.11.10 2005.11.12	B-	Jacob
4-7 Recap	Lesson Seven: If You Can't Say Anything Well… Back To School - Team Excel -- PM Randal, Marshawn, Rebecca, and Brian -- teach a class on making yourself stand out. Capital Edge (PM Adam, Markus, Felisha, Clay, and Alla) make themselves stand out, all right -- as total fools -- teaching a class about Sex In The Workplace. Then Donald Trump freaks your brain out.	2005.11.03 2005.11.08	A+	Jacob
4-6 Recap	Lesson Six: Don't Swing When You're Selling Take Me Out To The Boardroom - The newly-aligned Excel and Capital Edge go head-to-head in a Dick's Sporting Goods Event that leaves Excel down four players: PM Josh, Jenthura, Mark, and James. Meanwhile, PM Alla and her new Capital Edge get crazy all East-Hamptons-style.	2005.10.27 2005.11.01	A-	Jacob
4-5 Recap	Lesson Five: Swing When You're Winning Lost In Space - Capital Edge gains the Randal Edge, and Brian offends Markus's delicate sensibilities, on a task promoting the quasi-sequel to Jumanji. PM Jennifer and Kristi get all kinds of mud-slinging mad in an explosive boardroom that ends with a whimper -- namely Carolyn's -- as Kristi is sent home as the fourth social scapegoat running.	2005.10.20 2005.10.25	B-	Jacob
4-4 Recap	Lesson Four: Strap It Back Ice Cream Of Genie - Whether it's your unearned sense of superiority or anything else you like to swing around, this week we learn to tone it down and let it speak for itself, and take our punches where they fall. In a promotional campaign for Dairy Queen, Felisha finally takes out Toral -- a devoted member of the militant anti-milkshake-ist sect -- while Clay cracks the whip enough to satisfy even Josh and Mark.	2005.10.13 2005.10.18	B-	Jacob
4-3 Recap	Lesson Three: Whoring It Up For The Community Something Old, Something New - Toral, Rebecca, and Clay show their true colors (Supercilious Superiority Salmon, Steely Blue, and Undermining Aubergine), while Mark shows his stupid hick teeth some more. Excel PM Randal leads his team to victory in the "Tech Expo" and Jen W.'s hideous layout gets her gone.	2005.10.06 2005.10.11	B-	Jacob
4-2 Recap	Lesson Two: Leave It On The Playground There's No "I" In Team - After several mistakes with their Lamborghini ad campaign, including a semiotic misstep equating the car with the rise of fascism in mid-twentieth century Italy, Team Excel's PM Chris basically asks to be sent home by choosing to put the team's hatred of Markus ahead of properly-assigned blame. Trump obliges.	2005.09.29 2005.10.04	B+	Jacob
4-1 Recap	Lesson One: Don't Make People Hate You Let's Get Physical - Trump tries and fails to teach Markus and Melissa that not being a total jerk-off is the first key to success, as they drive their respective teams, you and me, an entire gender, the Viceroys, and Trump himself to utter rage. The first task, selling extra-cost fitness classes at two different Bally's gyms, gives the men the early advantage, but Markus loses his exemption from next week's Boardroom. After a slightly post-feminist and hugely insane episode-long rant about God knows what, Melissa goes home without having learned a damn thing.	2005.09.22 2005.09.27	A-	Jacob
3-18 Extra	Trumptastic! Trump: Unauthorized - In this rather wretched Donald Trump biopic, we learn that Ivana had an awesome accent, Marla was kind of dumb and trashy, and Trump's father was mean. "Earth-shattering" doesn't even begin to describe the shattering of the earth that ensues.	2005.05.24 2005.06.06	N/A	Miss Alli
3-17 Recap	The court of public Trumpinion Into The Stretch (3) - In this weird, stilted, abbreviated finale, Trump sits atop a judge's bench in a courtroom of his own making, repeating many of the questions he already asked Kendra and Tana, and then hiring Kendra because Tana was such a jerk to her team. Aside from whatever's going on with Boyfriend Bill's teeth, there's not all that much news.	2005.05.19 2005.05.24	C	Miss Alli
3-16 Recap	Games of the video and Olympic varieties Into The Stretch (2) - Tana and Kendra continue to plug away at their final tasks. Tana pisses off just about everyone associated with her event, while Kendra charms just about everyone associated with hers. It should be more complicated than that, but...it's not.	2005.05.12 2005.05.17	B+	Miss Alli
3-15 Recap	Interview to a kill The Games People Play (1) - Craig, Kendra, and Tana give their interviews, and Craig is quickly dispatched. Kendra and Tana get their final tasks, and they are assigned to work with the lamest members of their teams. It's kind of funny, really.	2005.05.05 2005.05.10	B+	Miss Alli
3-14 Recap	Fifty years, and it's come to this Bedazzled By A Beefy T - The now-tiny teams design commemorative T-shirts and sell them, which is about as exciting as it sounds. Alex is a drip, Tana is a flake, and Trump sends the drip packing. Adios, Alex. You never were very impressive.	2005.04.28 2005.05.03	B	Miss Alli
3-13 Recap	Office space I Can't Believe It's Not Clutter - The shrinking teams are assigned to produce clutter-control devices for Staples. Kendra, Craig, and Tana think you need a rotating desk organizer. Alex and Bren think you need another desk. Take a guess. Oh, and take Bren with you.	2005.04.21 2005.04.26	B	Miss Alli
3-12 Recap	The angry young man A Lonely Drive - It's time to sell cars, and the men of Magna are feeling confident, despite being led by Chris. When Tana and Craig bail on Kendra, she finishes the brochure on her own and brings home the victory. And Chris is finally done. And also? There is crying.	2005.04.14 2005.04.19	B	Miss Alli
3-11 Recap	And now for something completely...uhh... Seams Stress - The teams design clothes for American Eagle, and sort of for Nokia, and sort of for Sony, and logos are put on backwards and other calamities occur, but when Angie stammers her way through a presentation like a frightened squirrel, she gets the boot.	2005.04.07 2005.04.11	B	Miss Alli
3-10 Recap	Get out of my face The Pie's The Limit - It's such a great expression, and they say it so often in this episode. Alex and Chris wind up having this giant dust-up during the pizza task, you know? And Chris sort of spazzes out, and then they overstate each other's reactions, and then Stephanie gets fired anyway. Which is great.	2005.03.31 2005.04.05	B	Miss Alli
3-9 Recap	Box of tricks Pandora's Box - A Home Depot task challenges the teams to come up with a "clinic" for a home-improvement project. Craig's idea is so dumb that his team totally wins, and when Erin doesn't so anything on the task and then goes all bitchy in the Boardroom, she leaves, which is cool, because it's time.	2005.03.24 2005.03.29	A-	Miss Alli
3-8 Extra	Second Verse, Same As The First What You Didn't See... - Little bit longer and a little bit worse! Yeah, it's the clip show, people. You know it, you hate it, you totally don't look forward to it. But here it is anyway.	2005.03.17 2005.03.22	B	Miss Alli
3-8 Recap	Chain wallets and small potatoes Bling It On - John leads the negotiations for Net Worth when the teams have to deal for charity auction prizes. He is badly outmaneuvered by a twitchy Tana, and the recent spate of project-manager firings is briefly interrupted long enough for John to be sent home.	2005.03.10 2005.03.15	B	Miss Alli
3-7 Recap	Puttering around Project Putt Putt - This week's task is all about miniature golf, and it delivers all of the pettiness that suggests. Audrey and John have a face-off to see who's the bigger jerk, and it's kind of a photo finish, but she's a more ineffectual jerk, so it's goodbye, Audrey.	2005.03.03 2005.03.08	B	Miss Alli
3-6 Recap	Wall of confusion The Writing On The Wall - Who knows Harlem? Oh, reality show contestants. And they're heading out to paint an ad on a big wall. But when she gets all community-oriented, Tara shoots herself in the foot and takes her leave. Goodbye, Tara.	2005.02.24 2005.03.01	B	Miss Alli
3-5 Recap	Trailer for sale or rent Airstream Of Consciousness - The teams are assigned to come up with a "mobile business" in a trailer, and a spa faces off against a casting couch. But not that kind. Magna loses again, and Michael's luck finally runs out.	2005.02.17 2005.02.21	B	Miss Alli
3-4 Recap	Washing out Soap Dopes - Both of the teams make such crap-ass body wash commercials that they both wind up in the Boardroom, where Kristen is mercifully fired.	2005.02.10 2005.02.15	B+	Miss Alli
3-3 Recap	Coffee, tea, or blech Trouble Is Brewing - Instant coffee is the order of the day, and the teams are in charge of coming up with a way to make it look less revolting. Good luck, teams! Unable to rise to the challenge, Danny goes home with his guitar.	2005.02.03 2005.02.07	B	Miss Alli
3-2 Recap	The no-sell motel Motel 666 - The candidates renovate a couple of Jersey motels and learn that paint is stinky, toilets are expensive, and there is one circumstance in which if you tell Donald Trump what to do, he'll probably do it. Want to guess what it is?	2005.01.27 2005.01.31	B+	Miss Alli
3-1 Recap	Have it your way or the highway Whopper 101 - Trump and the butt-kissing non-geniuses angling to work for him are back, and this time, it's all about jealousy and resentment, but at least it's not about gender politics. And also? There's a plastic Viking hat.	2005.01.20 2005.01.25	B+	Miss Alli
2-16 Recap	Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, K-E-L-L-Y... Decision Time (3) - So the winner is Kelly. And it's almost unanimous, except for Assorama. So that was a close one.	2004.12.16 2004.12.22	C	Miss Alli
2-15 Recap	Flair, Care, And The Dirty Chair Decision Time (2) - Kelly operates the Connecticut polo match while Jen runs the basketball game, and quite frankly, neither of them comes off especially well. Who will succeed? Who will fail? Does anyone care?	2004.12.16 2004.12.18	B	Miss Alli
2-14 Recap	Kelly and Jen, sitting in a tree Intellectual Horsepower (1) - F-I-G-H-T-I-N-G. They don't like each other. We don't like them. There is polo and basketball. Is it over yet?	2004.12.09 2004.12.13	B+	Miss Alli
2-13 Recap	Degradation with a crisp candy shell Sweet & Lowdown - The paltry remains of the teams go off to sell M&M bars, only to find that the task is primarily about the proper use of stunt pricing. Ivana's late-stage effort to save her team by stripping to her underwear doesn't impress the way you might think, and she finally goes home.	2004.12.02 2004.12.06	B	Miss Alli
2-12 Extra	Memories, a blight on the corners of my mind A Look Back (Season 2) - Yeah, this season has been pretty random and stupid, as you will immediately notice upon watching this anemic clip show. At least Wes takes his shirt off one last time.	2004.11.31 2004.12.03	B	Miss Alli
2-12 Recap	The [Pepsi] Edge of Reason The Pepsi Challenged - Have you ever wished there were a drink with all the aftertaste of diet and all the tooth-rotting properties of regular? Enjoy Pepsi Edge, which will be marketed to you either via a hole in the bottle or a geography lesson. I know you cannot wait. Also this week: Andy makes a couple of stupid mistakes and gets fired. But for all the wrong reasons. Well, you'll see.	2004.11.25 2004.12.01	B	Miss Alli
2-11 Recap	Bitchy, death...it's not an easy choice The Butt Stops Here - Maria takes over Mosaic operations when the team is called upon to do a Levi's catalog. She blinks a lot, but she ultimately flubs the task and acts like a complete buffoon, so that will be it for her. Oh, and also for her PM Wes, who allowed the buffoonery and failed to intervene. Two firings, people. Awesome.	2004.11.18 2004.11.23	A-	Miss Alli
2-10 Recap	The vurrrry fahshunable wahhding Runaway Pride - And the fall in this case is Chris's, when he craps out on the wedding task he so cleverly talked himself into managing. So long, sucker.	2004.11.11 2004.11.16	B+	Miss Alli
2-9 Recap	Fop till you drop Bringing Down The House - Raj does just about everything wrong during a home renovation task, and as a result, he finds himself begging for a date on his way to Loserville. Sayonara, you big weirdo.	2004.11.04 2004.11.09	B+	Miss Alli
2-8 Recap	Dumb as a (cop) rock A Tale Of Two Leaders - Elizabeth is the PM, and she waffles her way to another loss, while the rest of the candidates go from bad to worse.	2004.10.28 2004.11.02	B+	Miss Alli
2-7 Recap	For a small person, she was very annoying Barking Up The Wrong Tree - Stacy has complained, started trouble, pissed people off, and generally done nothing of value for her team. And finally, the time has come for her to go. Oh, and they mix the teams, but that's not nearly as good as the news of Stacy's departure.	2004.10.21 2004.10.26	A-	Miss Alli
2-6 Recap	When did "capelets" become all the rage? Crimes Of Fashion - Apparently, I missed it, but when the teams are assigned to come up with a line of women's clothing, the one thing the designers agree on is that it's all capelets now. The women's capelet is better than the men's, so for once, it's the boys in the Boardroom, where pretty, pretty John takes a powder.	2004.10.14 2004.10.19	B	Miss Alli
2-5 Recap	All up in your grill Lights! Camera! Transaction! - The teams do a little selling at QVC, where the men have better luck moving a panini grill than the women do with a bunch of magic sponges. Thanks to another group effort from her new horrible team members, Pamela -- the only woman who has done anything worthwhile so far -- finds herself going home. Greeeat.	2004.10.07 2004.10.12	B	Miss Alli
2-4 Recap	The dangers of little black dresses The Last Supper - The teams try to open restaurants on short notice, and when the men master flirting and service while the women act pinched and irritating, it's another Apex loss. Despite an abundance of fire-worthy women, Jennifer C. is this week's bootee.	2004.09.29 2004.10.03	A-	Miss Alli
2-3 Recap	The Tooth Hurts Send In The Crowns - And so do the candidates' efforts at selling toothpaste. Circuses, Mets, and the bizarre and ugly firing of Stacie punctuate a week with an ironic absence of grins to be found.	2004.09.23 2004.09.28	A-	Miss Alli
2-2 Recap	Donut underestimate good ice cream Scoop Dreams - The teams are sent to sell ice cream, and after Baldford makes the fatal error of giving up the exemption he earned last week, he finds himself on his way home, giving Stacie, Ivana, and Jennifer C. a little more borrowed time on which to live.	2004.09.16 2004.09.19	A	Miss Alli
2-1 Recap	Welcome back, suck-ups Toying With Disaster - The second season kicks off with toys and hair and red pants and whatnot. Bye, Rob. You were roadkill from the start.	2004.09.09 2004.09.14	A	Miss Alli
1-14 Recap	He's just a Bill Down To The Wire, Part II - But he manages to take the competition right out from under Kwame's nose. Golf tournaments! Breakfast meetings! Assorama being dissed by Trump! Yeah, there's some good stuff here.	2004.04.15 2004.04.20	A	Miss Alli
1-13 Recap	Goodbye, young lovers Down To The Wire, Part I - We begin with interviews that quickly do away with Amy and Nick, leaving Bill and Kwame to battle it out for the win. When some of the more recently booted candidates return to act as staff on the final task, Assorama proves once and for all that she is not to be trusted. Don't act surprised.	2004.04.08 2004.04.13	A	Miss Alli
1-12 Recap	The penthouse and the doghouse The Price Is Height - This week's task takes the last five candidates to the ninetieth floor to rent out a lush penthouse for one night. When Nick and Amy get a last-minute save, Protégé heads for the Boardroom. A heartbreaker of a showdown between Kwame and Troy ends with the Idaho potato being sent home. Sniff. Love Troy. LOVE!	2004.1.001 2004.04.05	A-	Miss Alli
1-11 Recap	The big gamble Circus, Circus - The teams head to Atlantic City to come up with a game to attract casino patrons. It turns out that high rollers really do spend more, and a Bill-enriched Protégé manages a victory. After escaping the axe repeatedly, Katrina can avoid it no more, and she is fired.	2004.03.25 2004.03.30	A-	Miss Alli
1-10 Extra	The dreaded clip show A Look Back (Season 1) - Remember when there were ten episodes before this one? And they were really kind of good? Would you like to relive them? Well...okay.	2004.03.18 2004.03.24	B-	Miss Alli
1-10 Recap	Your ad here Wheeling & Dealing - When the teams are challenged to increase the revenue of a pedicab fleet for a day, VersaCorp hits on the idea of plastering the pedicabs with advertising. Troy hits on the idea of selling pedicab rides in bulk. It turns out about the way you would expect, and Heidi gets an overdue booting. Adios, chickadee.	2004.03.11 2004.03.13	B+	Miss Alli
1-9 Recap	Adieu, Connoisseur of Art and Water DNA, Heads, And The Undead Kitty - After a long string of bitch sessions, glamour-fests, harangues, and a bump on the head that's gotten more camera time than Martha Stewart in the last week, it's finally time to get rid of the truly odious Assorama. May we all soon forget she was ever here.	2004.03.04 2004.03.09	A	Miss Alli
1-8 Recap	Water, water, everywhere, and yet it costs a lot Ice Escapades - The teams face off at the task of selling expensive Trump-branded water. Troy is still a great salesman, and Bill can close a deal in a pinch. Assorama? Nick? Not so much.	2004.02.26 2004.03.01	A-	Miss Alli
1-7 Recap	"You must pay the rent!" "I can't pay the rent!" Dupe-lex - The candidates renovate a couple of apartments and try to get them rented in three days. It's like Trading Spaces, with less skill and more yelling. Farewell, Tammy -- I think Tiger Woods did you in.	2004.02.19 2004.02.23	A-	Miss Alli
1-6 Recap	The Unbearable Lightness of Carson Daly Tit for Tat - VersaCorp and Protégé line up celebrities to pimp themselves for charity. Everybody loves Rocco DiSpirito and Carson Daly, which just goes to show you what's wrong with the world. And Trump hates everyone at the final table, but only can fire one of them, so it's Jessie going home.	2004.02.12 2004.02.16	A-	Miss Alli
1-5 Recap	Somewhere Beyond The Flea Trading Places - The candidates hawk their wares (what wares they come up with, that is) at a flea market, trying out new teams composed of some chicks and some dudes. Kristi folds like a pair of threes, and she receives the first female boot.	2004.02.05 2004.02.10	B+	Miss Alli
1-4 Recap	Lonely Planet Hollywood Ethics, Schmethics - The teams each spend a night managing Planet Hollywood. Both experience ethical dilemmas, but at least the men's strategy isn't putting anyone's life or liquor license in jeopardy. The men manage to drop their fourth challenge in a row, and Bowie takes the boot. Adios, Bowie.	2004.01.29 2004.02.02	B+	Miss Alli
1-3 Recap	Sam's Enchanted Leaving Respect - When Trump hits the teams with a negotiating task, the men take the opportunity to put Sam to the test. His paper comes back covered with scribblings in red pen, and at long last, it's time for Trump to dump the chump.	2004.01.21 2004.01.27	A-	Miss Alli
1-2 Recap	Ad nauseam Sex, Lies And Altitude - Trump sends the Trumpettes into the big, cold world of advertising. The men's campaign is boring; the women's campaign is tacky. As you know if you watch any advertising, this means that the women emerge victorious. Goodbye, Jason. Don't be too rough on the tenants.	2004.01.15 2004.01.19	B+	Miss Alli
1-1 Recap	Donald Trump and the suck-ups Meet The Billionaire - Meet the sixteen fools who will be competing for an opportunity to suck up to Donald Trump for a living. Never have so many sold so much lemonade for so little reward. Thankfully, the "I have a high IQ" guy gets sent home first. Yech.	2004.01.08 2004.01.11	B+	Miss Alli

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