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Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!
Sam's Enchanted Leaving

In this week's task, both teams will be given the same list of ten items. They'll have to go around and buy the items and negotiate for better prices. Whoever pays a lower total price for all ten items will win. Pretty simple, right? Donald says that they'll meet up at 5:00 this afternoon to see how it went: "Don't be late. I hate people to be late." Amy interviews that she thinks this task gives the men a natural advantage, because Troy, Sam, Bowie, and Nick are all dealmakers in their day-to-day lives. The Trumpliner takes off. With just Donald in it, I guess. Just rattling around in Coach, no doubt, all by his lonesome. At least nobody bitches if he reclines his seat.

Manhattan, 9:00 AM. The big news at VersaCorp is that Sam has indeed, according to plan, been selected as the project manager. In an interview, he happily says that he was selected to be the boss of this task. Sam says that you always know you could fail when you take on the task of leadership, and that he knows he could get fired. Nevertheless, on with the show. And, presumably, the insanity. Because, you know, it's Sam. The ten items on the list are as follows: one twenty-ounce bar of gold; one Big Bertha Calloway golf club; five pounds of fresh squid; cigars; a Polaroid instant camera; some other stuff, apparently, that we're not shown, but the last one is a leg wax. One team member actually has to receive the leg wax, and it has to be performed on both legs. Oof. Sam says in his interview that the big game plan was to...well, treat it like a big game. A big football game, more specifically. And I really hope you like the football metaphor Sam's working, because you're going to hear a lot of it. A lot. Of. It. Sam's plan is that Kwame, Bowie, and Bill (the quarterback!) will go out in the field and negotiate, while he, Troy, and Nick (the cheerleader!) stay behind and do "research." Do cheerleaders do research? In a comment I just love, Troy interviews, "Sammy's like Picasso. That guy is so far in left field, but he paints this powerful, disturbing picture. You just gotta be able to interpret that picture." Brilliant. I love him. It's the use of the word "disturbing" that makes that entire comment work. I think Troy's got a nice respectable streak of dry wit running down his back, and you know I appreciate that. I appreciate his back, too, but I acknowledge that that's not really relevant.

Protégé, on the other hand, is just splitting the team in half and dividing the list in half. Jessie -- who's taking the reins as project manager -- has divided the team up so that Ereka, Katrina, Heidi and Tammy (a/k/a Ereka And The People She Does Not Drive To Drink) are on one team, while Amy, Assorama, Kristi, and Jessie (a/k/a Assorama and the People She Can Get Along With For Fifteen Seconds At A Time) are on the other team.

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