Retro Rumble

Episode Report Card
DeAnn Welker: B- | Grade It Now!
Make 7Up Yours

Team Marlee. Hatch is rehearsing his bit, which he hates. Although he admits he actually did have a perm going on in his high school yearbook photo. Hatch says Meat Loaf was in charge of the commercial. Cut to Marlee, still focused on the picture of herself. She asks the guy to make her look fifteen years younger. Next up in the commercial shoot is La Toya as the superhero. Hatch can't believe La Toya's superhero with Meat Loaf's lines: She hopes and dreams and holds them for you. "Yay!Go7Up!" Ha. Hatch is funny.

Team Rich. Lil Jon has a lot of shots left to get in an hour, and Rich is worried. Lil Jon says it goes quick, but Rich says the set-ups aren't quick. Rich says the whole thing hinges on Dee Snider becoming Twisted Sister. Rich hovers and tells everyone to be quick. Lil Jon interviews that this is for everything, so Rich deserves to be a little nervous.

Team Marlee. La Toya's getting Geoffrey Holder's set-up ready. It looks just like his '70s commercials, with a wicker chair and big plants. La Toya feels it's important to make their special guest feel catered to. Meat Loaf comes out with a long wig, looking like '70s Meat Loaf. They ask him where Geoffrey Holder's lines are, and Meat Loaf can't fid the script. His hair is getting in his way, too. Meat Loaf asks the crew to get the fan going on him. "I mean, blow me." Laughter. Meat Loaf's segment is sort of incomprehensible, but Marlee seems to love it, because ... he looks like Meat Loaf, I guess.

Team Rich. Dee Snider's shooting his "before" scene with Star and Rich as the judges of the icons. He comes in and yells a bunch, annoyingly. Lil Jon gets the take he needs, and Dee goes to get shaved. He says his wife's very excited about this. Rich explains that Dee rarely breaks out the Twisted Sister thing anymore, and he's doing this for St. Jude and for Rich, which makes Dee an awesome person. He comes out all made up just like old-school Twisted Sister. Mark's so excited. Star loves it so much she did a double-take. Lil Jon directs Dee. Rich teaches him the song: "7Up Retro. Still keeping it real." Rich says Dee killed it in only three or four takes. Rich says when he told Dee it was ready, he was like, "Okay. I'm going to take my dress off and go to Broadway." But there's lots of stuff left to shoot apparently.

Axl and Madonna look-alikes have to shoot their auditions now. Axl guy looks great, but Madonna lady has red hair. However, I guess that not looking quite like the real icons is part of the point. Rich explains there are a million things going on: Lil Jon needs more money for lights. Star needs to know about signage for the venue. The crew is asking him a bunch of stuff. The road manager of Def Leppard is on the phone and he can't quite understand him (he has a thick accent, I guess). Rich says this is the moment where, if you lose your cool, everything goes to hell in a hand basket. On the phone, Rich does not lose his cool, but he does argue a bit, pushing for them to use a kit drum, which the road manager doesn't want to do. Mark's very concerned about Rich's behavior and wonders if he's playing a mind game or something. Rich just wants to go meet the guy and play hardball, but Mark thinks losing Def Leppard would be a huge oversight on his part.

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