Apprentice
Runaway Pride

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Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
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The vurrrry fahshunable wahhding
Previously on House of Lames: Raj and Sandy were the PMs for a real estate task that tested the candidates' expertise in house demolition. I mean, "remodeling." Raj experimented with a "less is more" philosophy that he took a little too much to heart, while Sandy actually kept her team on task. Stacie came back just long enough to cause more problems for Ivana, while Jennifer C. came back just long enough to really enjoy everything bad that was happening to everyone else. Denise Rich was...rich. Although her house would be easier to enjoy if Kenneth Starr didn't live in her trashcans. When Raj couldn't deflect the attention from himself to Ivana, he wound up taking a walk, and didn't even get a date on his way out of the building, although it wasn't for lack of trying. But he shouldn't feel bad; even a guy with a fondness for military memorabilia takes a bayonet to the figurative romantic ass every now and then. Nine people left. Who will be scapegoated next?

Credits. Dollar bills, y'all.

This evening's skyline porn opens alongside the Chrysler Building (I think), as we stare at a few lights and taxis before learning that the lobby of Trump Tower is open to the public from 8:00 AM to 10:00 PM. After that, it's only for self-centered megalomaniacs, which explains why Trump and all of the contestants are welcome. We see the door of S5 ("RESIDENT ACCESS ONLY!"), and then we head inside for the ACWDW, where Wes is napping and Chris is...grinding pepper onto a pan of asparagus, I believe. He wouldn't be the first guy to drown his sorrows in green vegetables. Jen M. is tippy-tapping away on the computer, while Maria scrounges in the fridge for something without any calories or taste. And what's in the fridge? Orange juice, beer, asparagus (hey, out of sequence!), olives, chocolate syrup...and Maria just doesn't seem to know what she wants. She strikes me as the kind of girl who would want her beer served in a glass, unless there were a guy around who she believed would find it charmingly tomboyish of her to drink from a bottle, not that she could achieve "tomboyish" with Band-Aids on her knees and pockets full of frogs, despite her haircut. Andy and Jen M. have a chat in which he asks her whether Trump seemed to be leaning in any direction as of when she left. She says that she thinks it's going to be a tough call, because it kept coming back to Raj being the project manager. Which I'm not sure makes it a tough call unless you think "tough" means "not the way I want it to go," which she probably does. Ultimately, when Andy asks who Jen thinks will go home, she names Ivana, meaning that if you've been thinking Jen was really sharp and perceptive, you can think again, because that was never, ever going to happen. In an interview seemingly taking place in the bathroom in order to get that unique echo and the look of unscrubbed tile, Jen informs us that because Ivana doesn't offer very much and is "disruptive," she hopes Ivana won't be back.

The suite door opens. Ivana enters, followed by Kevin. "Ivana's back?" Jen says quietly to Andy, who's peeking around the corner. "Yep," he says. Jen makes a face, because she didn't get her way, and she hates that. A little later in the bedroom, though, Andy greets Ivana with a low-five, tells her it's good to see her back, and says, "There's no doubt. You can't build half a house and have the project manager not go. It's not even a question." And I agree with him, basically. Ivana complains in an interview that as of the team's return, they felt very divided, given (among other things) Chris's pronouncement that he thinks the team totally sucks. Oh, and by the way, in this interview, Ivana is wearing a lime green tank top that reads, "I am the BOSS," because she hasn't inspired enough public animosity yet. She reminds us that Chris, the King of Negativity, who is currently eating his chicken and asparagus in the kitchen, is set to be their project manager for the upcoming task. The rest of the group gathers around the kitchen table as Chris explains how he was made project manager after complaining to Trump about the way the team "has not gelled." "Sink or swim," Andy says with a small smile. "Sink or swim," Chris agrees. Somewhere, Swim looks around like, "Don't look at me, man, I'm going to the movies."

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