Runaway Pride

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
The vurrrry fahshunable wahhding

Apex prepares for the Boardroom, and Chris tells us that he's "a straight shoot-ah." Again, he's just gotta be himself. He's not a jackass, he's just really, really genuine. Kevin informs us that Chris ought to be fired, because he was the project manager and it all went wrong. Kevin holds open the possibility, though, that they'll all be fired en masse, considering how badly it went and how much they suck. I would support that. Ivana, just in case, wants to make sure she has done the traditional Choosing of the Scapegoat, so she checks in with Jen about how it was all Chris's fault, and the rest of them all tried to do everything they could to pick up the slack, blah dee blah. She and Jen agree that Chris gave up within the first ten minutes. Chris assures us that if he goes down, he'll go down fighting. They all take off for the Boardroom.

The elevator doors open. The team gets off the elevator and makes its way into the Boardroom. Carolyn and George already await, and are soon joined by Trump, in a red tie this week. "Chris, what happened?" he says. Chris admits that it was "a beating," and tries to basically say that it happened just like he told Trump it would. In other words, "I told you we'd lose, and we did! See how good and smart I am?" Yeah, son, good luck with that. But he also sort of tries to come out saying that they ultimately "gelled" on this task, and Trump is like, "Well...not very much, you didn't." Ivana, too, insists that "the team definitely rallied," but she thinks that "Chris gave up easily." Look, someone's fault! And not hers! It's really shocking. Trump says Chris doesn't look like a quitter, and Ivana's kind of like, "Yeah, go figure." Which was kind of funny, because she's right in this one particular case. Through a tight, phony smile, she talks about how when she sees the PM quitting early, it makes her feel bad. And it makes her, apparently, feel so terrifically driven to do anything for victory that she just has to...sit down and read a magazine. ["I just do not understand, at all, why she is still on this show. Do not understand it. I could see keeping her on for villainous entertainment value, but she's not even good at being a bitch." -- Sars]

Asked about Ivana's accusation, Chris owns up to having felt like the task was nearly insurmountable early on. Trump asks him why, and Chris basically blames the fact that Sandy was on the other team. Carolyn calls bullshit, saying that the stores had equal space, similar inventories of dresses, and similar experts, in that Bernadette basically helped them all the way through the process. George argues that the customer in this task is so obvious that all you have to do is reach the customers you know are out there. "Why wasn't there a marketing plan?" he demands to know. "There's a market." Chris...nods. Trump asks Jen how the other team did so well, and Jen knows enough to credit their early marketing efforts and their deployment of unsolicited commercial email. Trump asks about the stupid idea of handing out flyers at the train stations. Ivana is asked whether she liked the idea of Penn Station, and because she can't instantly figure out whether there's a way to answer the question in a way that shifts responsibility to someone else, she doesn't answer. Carolyn jumps in saying that it's an absolutely terrible idea, which is true. Trump, too, thinks the train station handbilling idea sucked. I mean, even if people read something like that, they're going to think you're the kind of people who sell wedding dresses by handing out flyers in the train station, and nobody wants to buy a wedding dress in a way that feels disreputable. They want to buy one in a way that feels like they're getting away with something, that's fine. But if they think you're potentially going to sell them something that was obtained during a burglary? Not so excited.

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