Apprentice
Runaway Pride

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Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
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The vurrrry fahshunable wahhding

Kevin, Ivana, and Chris are sent back into the Boardroom. Trump immediately asks Chris why in the hell he sent Jen back upstairs, when the entire team sucked equally. Chris says now that he let Jen go because two of the vendors praised her to him. Which is fine, but...they only sold two damn dresses. Nobody succeeded at any level, dude. She may be the best snowjob artist, but she didn't move dresses. This is basically what Carolyn says to him. Ivana is then asked what she thought of Chris as a leader, and she says, "I think Chris is very good at identifying problems, and when I say that, I mean he's really good at complaining." Trump comments on Ivana's endless supply of backhanded, obnoxious remarks about other people ["and, for the record, that remark was not 'backhanded,' Donald -- it was openly snotty and mean" -- Sars], and Chris tries to get a little traction by pointing out that it's because she's got experience, having been here constantly. Carolyn would like to know why Ivana thinks she finds herself in the Boardroom all the time, and Ivana insists -- no kidding -- that it's because she works so hard. She sticks out because she takes on so much responsibility, so when she inevitably, you know, fucks it up, she winds up in the Boardroom. That is really, really not as good an argument as she thinks. "I'm so good, they always bring me!" It really doesn't work that way.

Chris is thrown a ray of hope when Trump asks him whether he ought to fire Ivana. "Instead of me? Absolutely," Chris says, swimming against the current as hard as he can. "I'm an asset." Yeah. You let that sentence go on for two letters too long, chump. Chris and Ivana begin to bicker, and Kevin stupidly jumps in on Ivana's side, saying that people always go after whoever does the most work, which...shut up, Kevin. When you're not imperiled, don't imperil yourself. Trump asks Kevin whom he would fire. "I would fire Chris," he says. Ivana snorts and says, "I would fire Chris as well." Trump points out that they seem to care more about this phase than they ever did about the actual task while they were supposed to be working on it, which...is true. And sad.

Now, we enter the endgame. Trump points out how last week, Chris complained about the team, and how weak it was, and how he could straighten it out. Which isn't exactly what he said -- it was really just the complaining part. Chris points out that what he was advocating was mixing up the teams. Trump says that he also screwed up by letting Jennifer go, which is stupid, because you never know whether he might have fired her. "I can't believe you let her go," he says. "And I can't believe you led the team so badly. And Chris, you're fired." Chris sort of...takes it under advisement. Everybody gets up and leaves. In the lobby, there are no pleasant goodbyes, just people getting on the elevator. Because none of these people have friendships, which is exactly the complaint I was tossing out last week. Chris heads down.

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Apprentice

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