Apprentice
Scoop Dreams

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Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now!
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Donut underestimate good ice cream

Back in S5, Baldford is talking about getting to Times Square as soon as possible. But apparently not all that soon, because it would appear that Mosaic is long gone. "And look as gorgeous as usual," he throws in. And then, he says, "Come on, girls!" Oh, shut up, you condescending jack-off. And then all of a sudden he's...clapping. Not applauding, but clapping. Clapping as one does to summon a dog or attract attention in a crowd to frighten one's errant child. ["I'd have done the same thing, actually. Stacy's hair-ironing alone probably takes an hour and a half." -- Sars] He says in an interview something stupid about how if the "girls" can use their sex appeal to win, then he encourages that. You can just tell exactly how he thinks this task is going to go. You can tell right now that he thinks he is going to sit back and coast on the pretty, pretty girls and the low-cut tops he thinks they're going to wear and all the free kisses he thinks they're going to hand out. And for some reason, he has appointed himself their pimp or the manager of their all-girl band or something. "Jen, you look fantastic. Scrumptious. Staaaa-cy! Sell, sell, sell!" God. He so needs to get over this dynamic, because it's vile. "Let's take out the weapons today," he adds. And by "weapons," he means...well, you know what he means. Ivana comments that the women really weren't interested in "pimping [them]selves on the street or anything." Baldford, on the other hand, wanted them to "whore it up," which certainly looks like a fair rundown. Stacie comments to the other women that she doesn't think they should dress sexy for its own sake, but it's all right for them to dress as they usually would, as opposed to in businesswear. They seem to like this description, even though Stacie is the one who said it. It's all right, though, because they have the attention spans of fingerling potatoes, and three minutes from now, they'll forget everything good that Stacie has done up to this point. "All right, line it up!" Baldford calls. Did someone put him in charge? Is he the drill sergeant? I don't get that at all. Ivana, to her credit, as much as I don't like her, says she "didn't want to play the sex card," because she thinks the women are capable and it wasn't necessary. In this case, they probably aren't that capable so it might be necessary, but that's at least the attitude you'd like them to try to adopt.

Mosaic is test-driving its hard sell on the ice cream. "Have a heart, have a heart," goes the pitch over the bullhorn. "Ice cream for a good cause." Hmm. This is where I found myself wondering just how much of the proceeds they intended to turn over to charity. Raj pushes the ice cream on a customer by explaining that it's both breakfast and dessert, because it has donuts in it. Hee. Hey, it's probably no worse for you than a Toaster Strudel. And this does seem to be part of their strategy -- they even have a sign that says, "Breakfast Ice Cream." Raj claims that, in fact, this worked well for morning sales.

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Apprentice

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