Apprentice
Scoop Dreams

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Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now!
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Donut underestimate good ice cream

The teams reenter S5. Kevin interviews that "losing is not an option," because Mosaic can't afford to lose twice in a row. As her team starts to discuss options including the selection of the PM, Pamela asks if anyone has any background in food. Kevin says, "I worked at I Can't Believe It's Not Yogurt when I was fifteen years old." HA! Such a great line, because (1) it's probably true; (2) it wouldn't be nearly as funny with the name of any other establishment as it is with that one; and (3) it's actually "I Can't Believe It's Yogurt," not "I Can't Believe It's Not Yogurt." (I mean, you have to wonder what "it" would be at a place called "I Can't Believe It's Not Yogurt.") Anyway, I wouldn't be counting on the knowledge Kevin took away from that job. The team apparently chooses not to pick Kevin as PM based on this specialized skill set, because before you know it, they're drawing names out of a hat for the position and ultimately picking Kelly to be PM. Kelly interviews that he thinks leading early is an advantage, because even if you lose, you can take the opportunity to knock someone out in the Boardroom. Nothing like cold, merciless, military logic.

As Pamela points out, the transition to leader brings out Kelly's "G.I. Joe" side, and he starts getting very firm about what they're going to do now and who's going to do it and where they're going to stand and the fact that he better be able to bounce a quarter off your bed when you're done and drop and give him twenty. Or something. And nobody even seems horribly offended by the pushiness, although they do at times look puzzled. Considering who some of these guys are, though, he might just be talking too fast. Pamela claims, however, that she doesn't respond well to people who are "authoritative." Eh. You were pretty "authoritative" last week, Miss Take Off Your Tie, so you might want to watch it with that. Kelly agrees in an interview that his experience in the military did indeed teach him a lot about leading. Military snare drums appropriately back him up as he talks about how, once a decision is made, he expects everyone to "pick up their weight and execute." (Not that kind of "execute." What kind of a show do you think this is?)

Concerned about the disadvantage they'll be at if they try to sell on the street -- because of all the lessons learned last season about the women who sell themselves along with the product -- Mosaic turns its attention to distributors, thinking they'll go for a few huge sales rather than, as Kevin puts it, a "street fight" in which they feel like they're doomed by their small breasts. "Guys will buy stupid stuff if they see pretty women," he says straightforwardly. Heh. I think I like Kevin. Kelly decides to break the group into a "sales team" and a "flavor selection team." Snerk. It's not so much that he breaks up the work, it's that he has to call the second group the "flavor selection team." They should have t-shirts. I would totally wear a shirt that said, "Kiss Me, I'm Part Of The Flavor Selection Team." Kelly leaves Wes in charge of sales, with Raj, Kevin, and John, and he takes the rest with him. The non-Flavor-Selection-Team members depart S5 for Ciao Bella.

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Apprentice

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