Apprentice
Scoop Dreams

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Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now!
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Donut underestimate good ice cream

The Comedic Clarinet of Unending Searches for Consensus moan-honks in the background as the women once again find themselves paralyzed by everyone's unwillingness to do anything at any time that anyone else might disagree with. Jennifer C. thinks that they should have a discussion of what they think the "key factors" are. They agree to go around the group and have everyone say what they think they have to offer in the task. Merciful heavens, people. No wonder it takes you so damn long to do anything. Ivana wants to "break it down" for them, so she shows them a diagram. Yes, a diagram. And it indicates that sales is made up of price and quantity. The "driver" for price is the product, and the "drivers" for quantity are distribution and promotion. Welcome to your first week of business school, I assume. I think this is from a filmstrip. Jennifer M. interviews about how Ivana had this big analysis and all these complicated "equations and models," and I certainly hope that Ivana did something much, much more complicated than the formula she just presented, because otherwise, Jennifer is much too thrown off her game by something that only takes up about four lines on a legal pad. At about this point, Maria says that she thinks Ivana is "evolving" as the leader, so she thinks Ivana should be the PM. Ivana accepts, and she takes the opportunity for a shot at Baldford by promising to be "more collaborative." She must mean more collaborative than Baldford, because she can't possibly mean more collaborative than the team has been to this point, because if they get any more collaborative than they already are, they're not going to be able to go to the bathroom without agreeing in advance whether to go number one or number two. Ivana claims in an interview that Baldford "ruled as a bully," and she vowed to be different. Which is, of course, what everyone says before she figures out that bullies are the only people who can herd eight other maroons without everything falling to pieces. Ivana says it was important to "listen to everyone's input." Snore. She badly needs to abandon the false belief that everyone has equally worthy input. Some people are stupid. Identify them. Tell them not to talk anymore. It's a very good way to "streamline your process," to use language that people on this show might understand. As the women sit around and fondle everyone's ideas, Baldford voices over that Ivana's style has "too much of the velvet glove and not enough iron fist." I hate to find myself agreeing with him, but I sort of do. "Too much input paralyzes you," he adds, and I definitely agree with that. Especially when it's stupid input.

Ciao Bella. Vast amount of ice cream are dropped into vats in footage that should probably make me resent Big Food, but really just make me hungry. Mosaic arrives at the facility and meets with one of the production managers. Of course, in order to get their tour, they all have to wear white coats and little caps over their hair, because nobody wants anything unexpected in their dish of Rocky Road. They tour the tanks and such, and Pamela starts to ask questions. About the tanks, about the temperatures, and generally about how to make ice cream. Andy interviews that Pamela decided to do the "dime tour" and ask ice cream questions while they were badly needing to get out of there as soon as possible. I suspect she has a theory either that she's going to act interested and befriend this production guy and he's going to tell her something interesting, or that holistically, understanding ice cream will help her do better in the task. In other words, I don't think she's just distracted and flaky and asking ice-cream questions for the sake of doing it. I think she's just trying too hard. Remember the bit last year about understanding the customer, when they were selling the water? Anyway. Off in the corner, Andy and Chris tut-tut over what a fool Pamela is, and congratulate themselves on understanding that it's "a sales task." I don't like either of them. Kelly interviews that he thinks Pamela "likes to hear herself talk," and then we hear her ask the production guy whether he has any "high-level lessons learned" to share from the ice-cream business. See? I think that, foolish as it probably was, was what she was going for. "I don't know that there are any, really," he says. So...so much for panning for gold among the production managers. All that setup and no payoff. Too bad.

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Apprentice

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