Apprentice
Scoop Dreams

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Donut underestimate good ice cream

In its conference room, the Mosaic Flavor Selection Team calls the sales team on the Space Communicator. The FST breaks the news that it's going to be at least fourteen hours from when they settle on the flavor to when they get the ice cream, and the further news that they have no idea yet what the flavor is going to be. "Drop a chocolate bar in the vanilla ice cream and call it a day," Kevin urges. And I agree. "A candy bar, a donut, something," Kevin says. As he explains in an interview, after he used the "donut" word, people started to fixate on that. The FST goes and meets with the chef, who tells them that the best way to make donut ice cream in a short period of time would be to...well, go and buy some donuts. (That's why you use experts, people.) They realize that this will be an added cost, because their other option is to just use ingredients that the place has on hand, which apparently won't cost anything. They figure out that this will require about $150 to $200 in donuts, so it will take a chunk out of the profits. Chris makes a phone call about ordering 400 donuts, but when the person is too slow on the phone, Chris first rudely chastises him for pausing to take an order at the counter when Chris's order will be worth so much more, and then finds that when he calls -- at about 3:15 in the afternoon, it appears -- they don't have a huge stockpile of fresh donuts. Which, in the afternoon…I mean, why would they? In case someone wants 400 donuts at 3:15 in the afternoon? You could throw out a lot of stale donuts waiting for that to happen. As it turns out, Mosaic needed so many donuts that they aren't able to get them all in one place, and Pamela learns at 3:35 PM that they need the donuts by 4:00 to start production. And you know what that means -- field trip!

The Mosaic van speeds down the road in search of donuts. They leap out of the van at a Dunkin Donuts -- "like the A-Team," as Pamela observes -- and run inside. They demand every donut in the store. Money is thrown, and bags of donuts are brought out successfully. No donut shop employees are harmed. "Kids were cryin' 'cause we took all the donuts," Chris says proudly. Well, yes, that would be a moment for the scrapbook: "Here's a picture of me, and there's the child I brought to tears." At a second Dunkin Donuts, they hop out again and raid the donut supply again. "Fourteen minutes," Chris voices over as we watch them load up the van. "Fourteen minutes, we've got over three hundred donuts, everything they had. We cleaned out two stores within a 1.8-mile radius from where we were." They head back toward Ciao Bella, loaded down with bags of donuts. Everywhere, small children weep. Somewhere, Donald Trump is laughing.

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Apprentice

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