Apprentice
Apprentice

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | 595 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
And now for something completely...uhh...

When we come back from commercials, it is 3:00. Fortunately for Angie, I suppose, Magna goes in first. Tana leads her team inside, and they get ready to start their presentation. Tana the Mary Kay Lady, unsurprisingly, can do marketing patter in her sleep and could sell you your own sock while you're wearing it, so she just tells all about the "line extension" for American Eagle, and she's completely polished. She talks about the research that they did, and then they bring out the models, and they also bring out -- as Tana puts it in an interview -- "Brenny-Boy." Bren begins to go through the different items that the models are wearing. He explains the sweatshirt with the pocket in the front to conceal a Game Boy, just so that if you get caught using it, you can put it away quickly and then take it out again just as quickly. Heh. Cute. My mom the teacher kind of wouldn't appreciate that professionally, but there you go. Bren's approach makes the American Eagle lady laugh, so that's probably a good sign. The Magna track jacket has mesh pockets on the inside where this particular kid is keeping a PDA of some sort, not that anyone is really using those anymore. I think the jeans with the teeny little cell-phone clip are a bit of a stretch, and don't seem to incorporate too much design inventiveness, but...whatever. The American Eagle guy asks Bren what he thinks is the most important gadget right now among the AE customer base, and Bren names the cell phone. (Ding!) With this, Magna is directed to hang out in the back of the store until it's time to be judged.

And now, here comes a very discombobulated Net Worth, stumbling through the front door late. Angie asks Chris whether, by chance, he brought the jean jacket, because it turns out that the model did not bring it, as they thought he was going to. Chris doesn't have it. No one has it. The jacket, she is missing. "It just got surreal from then," Angie tells us. She tries to line up the models for the presentation, and we are led to believe that American Eagle guy is getting twitchy over all the waiting. Angie dives into her presentation thusly: "We're very excited today. Net Worth is very proud...umm...is very proud to present American Eagle's...American Eagle Outfitters' new spring line, Beach Tech." Yeah. She didn't even have a first sentence that was finished, and she read that entire mess off her notes. Her torn-from-my-day-planner, raggedy-edged notes. She goes on: "Umm..." Alex says that Angie seemed not to be "focused" during the presentation, right from the beginning. He compares it to a high-school communications class, and I really can't argue. "Um, technology is the language of the world, it's the language of the new people…" I'm sorry, the "new people"? What people are those? It sounds like she's designing clothing to fit a new race of aliens. She wraps up with the following gem: "Uhhh...and you'll see them being featured in our line today." Good Lord. I know that's horrifying when it happens to you, because you kind of want to immediately burst into flames and die, but seriously, lady. Two introductory sentences? You had time for that. She goes to the first model. "This is, um, this is, uh, Travis, uh, Trace, and he, of course, is wearing the hoodie." Of course. This is the laptop jacket, because Net Worth's first great idea is that you'll carry around your laptop in the back of your hoodie. Seriously. Which will be great, as long as you have the ultra-light kind of laptop, and as long as you don't, like, sit down, or stand against anything, and no one bumps into you or anything like that. It would be awesome at the beach! They have a similar one on one of their female models, only it's pink, of course, because girls love pink.

Apprentice

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