So in that cramped timeline, I'm saying those impressions stick around for them too, and it affects the process itself, because it relies on trust. Also, that "put together" as an attribute trumps absolutely everything else, because of the strength, intelligence and confidence it implies. Nicole's hotness is totally variable depending on what she's wearing, because a well-crafted appearance can do anything; the reason Kristine's skin issue gets little to no comment from me or anybody else is because the girl knows how to work it. (While the reason she's posing for Playboy is because she's awesome.) The last reason is that, as much as we joke about these recaps being didactic or instructional, I do think that you can base a lot of intuition about people based on reading their appearance and body language, and it's my belief that you can train yourself in this ability, and I feel like I've got a pretty good track record with my assumptions about most of the contestants, so it interests me on that level, because somebody's objective physicality doesn't really factor in once you get keyed into what they're all about, and often the contents of books, as you read them, changes what the cover looks like. Sometimes dramatically. Also interesting to me. But mostly and finally, the reason I talk about everybody's hotness quotient all the time like it's some kind of Sexy Wall Street journalism is because this show is for shit, and it's not like they hand out prizes for watching it, so lots of times eye candy is all you get.

Trump asks Stefani whom he should fire, and she tells him to hire her and shut up. This is awesome and they talk about this at length, but whatever, he starts in on the videos again, and we have to watch the bollicksy things again, but I'll be damned if I'm recapping those things. Here's a link for Nikki and Frank, aka Arrow, in which the crowd is wisely warned not to clap or laugh at the homeless dude, but they go crazy when the kid says, "Wow! The odor is eliminated!" I always kind of thought that the only people still watching this show were doing so because my recaps make no sense. Perhaps this is the final proof. There's a greenscreen behind Frank and Nikki, I don't know what that's all about, but the crowd that's behind them is instead projected onto a screen between them and the crowd that's between them, is how it looks. That's too weird, I'm not investigating it. I used up my detective skills on the Vegas task. But so now here's a link for James and Stefani, aka Kinetic in all but name. The last shot, of the couple manically grasping at each other while smiling dead-eyed into the camera, is not so much Lynchian, actually: it's more John Waters. (First of all: yikes, but second of all: have you seen that crazy John Waters show on Court TV with the murderous couple reenactments? It's the best thing in the world. We should recap that instead of this crap. I would totally move to LA or Vancouver or wherever and become an actor, if I could but once be on that show. That show : Jacob :: Broadway : Rosie O'Donnell. Here's my audition: "Visualize, Execute, and Enjoy! Visualize, Execute, and Enjoy! Visualize, Execute, and Enjoy!")