Trump asks Surya whether his opinion of Frank has changed. And let me tell you, the intervening months have not only been kind to Surya, they've been downright saintly. He looks like a million bucks, for real. I'm really proud of him for training his hair to do the tricks his face can't do. I mean he looks really cute, like a cute guy, like you'd see a guy out somewhere at the mall or a bar and you'd think, "Cute guy," like that. And here I thought the Wolverine hair was the thing he was doing right. I wonder if this new haircut came with a clue. Surya laughs and asks Trump whatever the hell he means by that. Frank is a good guy -- technically true, in that he is not a murderer, and that he does the best he can with what he's got to work with -- and worked hard in this process. Which is certainly true, but here's a thing: you know who I have no respect for? People that stay at work until 7PM. Work smarter, not harder. All you're demonstrating is that you're unable to get your job accomplished in a standard work day, and where you got the idea that you deserved a hug or a medal for that is unfathomably beyond my ability to understand. What I'm saying is, I have no doubt that Frank worked twice as hard, a hundred times, prodigiously harder than everyone else, but that's not really a point in his favor. That's like having a special curve just for the mainstreamed kids.

It's like inevitable in some way I can't define that Aaron's mic screws up for a second. That's like Aimee tripping over something in the risers, or Nicole accidentally backhanding somebody: it just makes sense. So he says that Stefani and James are not only a good team -- which doesn't really speak to the larger issues in play here -- but that in order to take the Trumporg global, James's tech background will come in handy. And yeah: global means B2B and internet, and three-quarters of the internet is a deficit-spending short-sell bubble, and James is king of bubble talk, so his brand of bullshit would actually be excellent for them. People cheer because Aaron said something. God, he's a treat. Trump tells us that he's really going to fire two people, one day.

You know how if you get a song stuck in your head in like one specific location, you will get that song stuck in your head forever when you're there? Whenever I have to make copies of something, I always get that New Edition "Tender Roni" song stuck in my head, the one that goes, "Only tender Ronies can give a special love/ A special kind of love that makes you feel good inside," or how when my friend Other Joe gets out of the shower, he sings Outkast's "So Fresh, So Clean," without even knowing he's doing it. Point being, I gave myself another task-related one of those last week and I think it's going to kill me because I can't chase it away with any song I can think of. Every time I take the Brita filter out of the fridge to fill the espresso maker, I start singing "Do You Really Want Me" by Salt N Pepa -- apparently I'm really into '90s urban pop, in my more lackadaisical moments -- but that's not the killer, because Salt N Pepa rule. The really awful part is that it's all the breakdowns, only those talking bits, so it's like: grab the water pitcher and ask if it's going to love my mind and not just my body, baby, and then like firmly notify the espresso that this is my life, not just a song. Which is why I will live alone for my entire life, because I don't need anybody knowing this shit -- besides you, I mean, because we're friends -- or for fuck's sake seeing me do it. Especially Derek. That'll kill the whole vibe.