Apprentice
Season 6 Decision Time

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Jacob Clifton: B- | Grade It Now!
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Toolin' it up in Seattle, where we see the Space Needle of course, because all we know about Seattle in all our minds has to do with needles of one kind or another. But more importantly: James Sun, what is it that you actually do? Well, before, he was in sales and marketing, making six figures at a big company. But he wanted to become an entrepreneur.

QUICK QUIZ!

1. Of the two things named below, which is more like the job in the Trump Organization for which we've all been striving for fourteen weeks now?

A) A six-figure job in marketing at a big company.
B) Working for oneself as an entrepreneur.

2. So James is?

A. Creative, duh!
B. Wanting to be on TV, basically.
C. Just as dumb as he was a second ago.
D. Wishy-washy.

I suppose that he might have gotten tired of being an entrepreneur, now that his company -- which he manages to name about sixty times in the next half-hour, which is good, because nobody's ever heard of it, which I maintain is because James sucks -- is doing well. But then like why would your "purchase me" video be all about how directly you are opposed to this whole process? "You should hire me to work for your giant company because I hate giant companies, but am also greedy. As you can see, my independence will gall you, and my lack of skills or creative thought are my best qualities!" Everything about James is really confused and annoying. He goes on at length about how "risk" and "problem-solving" are the keys to his success, because if there's one thing we know about corporate real estate it's that it's so much about flying by the seat of one's creative pants. That's why there are always such interesting people involved. God knows what he's thinking. Anyway, there's that totally fake cheesy sad moment where he walks into the foyer of his little company and the receptionist is like, "Mr. Sun, go right in, they're waiting for you. Specifically for your creativity and business acumen and giant swingin' dick." He's like, "Thanks!"

More talk about how wonderful it was to leave his "comfortable salary" and go start this company and again, like, did you know this was for this show? This isn't some kind of weird fetish video you made for your own perverse enjoyment that they somehow got ahold of? Because this has less than nothing to do with your stated and intended purpose in being on this show. I don't understand that at all. "I'm a great hire for the Trump brand, as you can see by my demonstrated disloyalty." Then the hero music starts as he tells lie after lie after lie: How he came to this country as an immigrant with nothing, and how he wants to achieve the highest level of success. First of all, he didn't "come to this country as an immigrant with nothing" in anything but the strictest sense, and it's deliberately misleading and gross to represent yourself in that way. Again: that means your parents are awesome, not you, and also that's not true either, because you are the living proof of how they did at being parents. Second of all, "the highest level of success" is a really fucking creepy phrase because it has nothing to do with happiness or personal pride in a job well done, and a whole lot about having something to prove. Which can get you far in life, and is a certain kind of hunger, but there's nothing particularly heroic about it. And thirdly: how the fuck you gonna sell yourself as a rogue individualist to Donald J. Trump? I'm sorry, I cannot let this go. It's just so stupid!

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Apprentice

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