Trump: "Nothing will come of nothing. Speak again."
Heidi: "Stefani is the epitome of a strong woman. ... Hmm, curious. When I say 'strong woman,' you seem to flinch, Mr. Trump. Is that like 'Bloody Mary'?
Trump: "Oh, that way madness lies... " "Strong woman. Strong woman. Strong woman. Strong woman. Strong woman."
Trump: "STOP! IT BURNS!"
Stefani: "Fuckin' thanks, Androl."
Heidi: "I'll see you in hell."
Trump: "Kristine? Is that your name?"
Kristine: "Yes, sir. You fired me for no reason whatso... "
Trump: "-- You're FIRED!"
Kristine: "Very droll."
Trump: "Whom should I hire?"
Kristine: "It's the Year of the Woman, Mr. Trump. You can't hold out much longer. Your show is in tatters, your dignity -- always dubious -- is pretty much nonexistent, and you can't even get your candidates to play along anymore. You're standing on an island that's getting smaller by the day, and this is the year that your toupee finally floats to the surface."
Trump: "-- Frankie?"
Kristine: "Not done. I've seen you keep screamers over the smart ones over and over again: you don't have to scream the loudest to be the strongest. I've been watching the show, along with America, as it slowly unraveled around you. She led silently and well, and kept the frat boys like Nicole under control. You can't even do that with your own personal frat boys, in your soul."
Crowd: [Ambiguous cheering; darting glances at the beanbag snipers]
Frank: "You have two individuals up here."
Frank: "I counted them. One, two. There are two of them."
Trump: "Frankie... "
Frank: "James stepped up throughout the process, pretending to lead, sir. Stefani took the easier course of actually leading, behind the scenes. There's no risk in that, especially if you don't fuck up, sir. Seems lame to me."
Everybody: [Kind of nods]
Trump: "I'm confused. Come not between the dragon and his wrath! Back to the peanut gallery."
Surya: "Fnur, fnur, you should hire Sanjaya! Har har!"
Jacob's Hand: "Ow! You can't bitchslap a television set, genius!"
Trump, nearly verbatim: "Fuck you, Surya. Just... fuck you."
Trump: "I think I know who's going to win, and by that I mean this was all decided months ago, but since I'm convinced you people think TV is real, I'm going to pretend to ruminate for awhile, because it gives me a feeling of control to have 'several million' imaginary people hanging on my every word, in the unmentionable rain. So I'm just going to keep dicking around like I've been doing."