Season 6 Decision Time

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B- | Grade It Now!
Lessons Learned

Then they had to make a commercial with the same tools and concepts as the webisode task, only instead of being on the internet, it was shown at a movie theatre before a movie. That was literally the only difference between the tasks. Even the teams were basically the same. James and Stefani chose Aaron and Angela, good stand-ins for Tim's charismatic level-headedness and Nicole's intelligence/quickness/je ne sais quois that made her so imminently expendable yet terribly necessary the last time James went on a "building the perfect Prom date" rampage. Frank and Nick brought along Tim and Surya, who are basically the less- and more-insane versions, respectively, of James and Stefani. Actually, what an awesome concept. Like, James is what would happen if you turned up Tim's volume and ethical grayness to 100 while turning down his creativity and charm to like 5, and Surya is like what would happen if you gave Stefani a lobotomy, a persecution complex, borderline narcissistic disorder, and a raging case of OCD.

Meanwhile, Aaron's like the Bizarro version of Tim in that he is a really nice guy who's not as invested, relatively, in being on TV, who dated Aimee (the Bizarro Nicole?) after the show, and kicks Tim's looks up a few Aryan notches. And Angela is a workhorse who gets no credit for it, like Nicole, but the Bizarro part is that she doesn't constantly trumpet this fact; is as fixated on her Olympic status as Trump, just like Nicole with her overwhelming sexy hotness; she looks one jillion times better in a suit than a dress, just like Nicole; and tonight, just like Nicole, Angela will be made up to look exceedingly like Jon-Benet Ramsey.

It wasn't as interesting as they want us to think, but then it got real interesting as Frankie came up with several bad ideas, spurred on by Tim, then realized that they were bad ideas, also spurred on by Tim. Or so the show would have us believe. Random Hitchcockian first act, sick kid, humor at the expense of the odoriferous disenfranchised. Which is not funny, which Tim and Frank slowly figure out, then apparently disregard. Meanwhile, Stefani watched James get "creative" for a billion years, and told him to get his act together a bunch of times, but he is just too damned "creative" to listen to a woman. In the end, the crowd in the theatre "[were edited to appear to] like both commercials," quoth Trump, which makes the decision even tougher still. Which is pretty impressive, considering the stacked deck and cobra-bait sitting on the right-hand side of the table. "Tonight, the Final Four will face me in the boardroom, but only one will win the dream job of a lifetime... THE APPRENTICE." Rebecca Jarvis will sleep easy tonight. Who are we kidding? Like of all of us she's the one that's got time to think about this stupid show.

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