Apprentice
Season Finale

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Lesson Thirteen: People Aren't Metaphors

Chris starts talking about his fabulous love of Rebecca's fierce, diva-glorious style, pointing out that he'd not actually ever worked with her to this point (which is interesting, because it means she really was picking entirely on her vibes, and not just with Toral), and that coming into this he really had no idea "what [his] leader would be like," and that she proved herself to be "a very effective manager." Josh interrupts, and Chris gets a little pissy ("Josh?") about how it's about "going above and beyond," and come on, Rebecca clearly knew she was going up against Randal, and Chris says that in fact she did go "above and beyond" and Josh disagrees and blah blah blah you weren't there, Josh, so shut up. I love Josh more than Rebecca, probably, but I'm confused about where he gets off, here. Chris goes off in that Chris-speechifying way about how she proved it to him, that she is an "effective and strong leader," and that he doesn't work for somebody he can't respect, and that she's proven herself as a great manager and a great executive.

Marshawn tells Trump straight up that Randal is better, without a doubt: he's "smart, strategic and successful --" and Trump interrupts: "Is Rebecca not smart?" Marshawn, cool and good, is like, "I'm not taking anything away from Rebecca. But you're asking who's better." Seriously. What a dumb objection to raise. Marshawn says that Randal's education distinguishes him from Rebecca by far, and Chris points out that Randal's education distinguishes him from everybody ever, and Toral randomly says that Rebecca has "integrity," and out of nowhere Josh admits that Rebecca is smart.

Carolyn, as usual, wants to talk about the real deal: the event. "I thought she handled it very well." Carolyn liked all the Yahoo! stuff and thought it was great. Randal's event, though, she has questions. Number one, for the next hour, is "Why didn't you check the weather?" She says that if she was throwing a party in her backyard, she'd go ahead and check the weather. I almost lose consciousness imagining having to be a cater-waiter at Carolyn's backyard parties. "This spoon is spattered with water spots!" SLAP! Marshawn gives her team a somewhat tarnished accolade about how "the fact is" that even in the complete absence of a Plan B they still raised $11,000, and somehow that makes Randal a good leader. Yeah, not buying that line of attack at all. "I'm talking about business sense," agrees Carolyn. "Not having a Plan B is bad business." Josh, having been stricken by a case of the Brians, admits that not having a Plan B "baked" was a mistake, but puts a fractionally better shine on it by pointing out that it's not the obstacles that you face, but how you face them, that matters. Actually it's the same thing Marshawn said, but it sounds a bit better.

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Apprentice

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