Season Finale

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A | Grade It Now!
Lesson Thirteen: People Aren't Metaphors

Because let's talk about Rebecca for a second: there's no agenda here. There's no subterfuge. She knew what she could and could not go up against him with, and chose to reroute the questions so that she deflected the stuff she didn't want to talk about, and did this skillfully, because her by far largest asset in this game has been her Boardroom magic skills, and at no time was this a black/white thing for her; because that's her side of white privilege, she didn't really have to worry about that, but she's got her own alphabet that's actually very, very close to Randal's, if you trade some words out, like "Donald Trump thinks you're hot" is just an anagram of "affirmative action got you here." And she's just as fucked, and just as let down, by this bullshit. This is a woman with honor, who knew going in she was going to lose to Randal, and gave it her best, and kept focus on her potential and her talent and off her experience, for the most part, and only got scary a couple of times, but come on. She knew. And then to get dicked around, one more time, by Trump. I like to think she's not just realizing that Randal just screwed her, that she realizes how Byzantine this shit just got, but I can't say that for sure. I just really, really like her.

What we've learned: People aren't metaphors. They're people, and we know that. But Trump's tried to create some kind of living theatre art here for us, and maybe we'd be wise to check out the rich white guy holding the strings, the one who just managed to screw them both out of being the Apprentice, just for the kicks of trying something he'd never done before.

Brian finally catches Jenthura's eye, and they bond over a hot cup of OMG, and Markus invents a new kind of clapping where he pokes the fingers of one hand into the palm of the other, over and over and over. Randal is again congratulated, and Adam looks perturbed, and Rebecca murmurs, "That's unfortunate," and who would disagree with that, and her mic goes dead, they both shake the hands of the Viceroys and stuff and sit there awkwardly until the lights go crazy and Randal heads out into the crowd, and Toral hugs Rebecca and Melissa acts weird and Adam is still perturbed and Jentethno is so happy to be there and Alla is screaming something, with no idea how over her I really am. I can't see Rebecca anywhere, but I keep looking.

Trump's mic is still live. It picks up his voice: "Did you like that?"

There's not an answer.

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