Apprentice
Season Finale

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Lesson Thirteen: People Aren't Metaphors

While Mark asks Groundskeeper Steve -- who after all has plenty of experience in this, given it's his whole job -- what the weather might be like today, Randal is very polite to his limo driver, then steps in a huge puddle. Mark interviews that they have "a real possibility of having a disaster on our hands," and his haircut is wicked flattering. Steve finally tells them it's over, and Josh kind of wigs, and Steve points out that this also involves life sucking for the VIPs. Randal again tells us that there was no Plan B, that they "had to make one up right there," and again, it bugs the crap out of me. Steve takes them down into a locker room (nice!) where there is a table tennis table. He helpfully suggests getting rid of the ping-pong table and maybe putting up something to block off the bathroom, and the camera juxtaposes this depressing talk with the depressing vistas of a locker room. Marshawn explains that, in addition to moving to the clubhouse, Plan B also involves ditching the silent auction and concentrating on just the live auction, pointing out that this will mean the celebrities will be competing against each other. Randal immediately starts figuring logistics on this pretty good Plan B, and we head back to Lincoln Center for no damn reason, and then we watch Queen Latifah supplement her Pizza Hut income with a Wal-Mart commercial, which reminds me to work really fucking hard for my next Oscar.

Weekly Wisdom! This week's watchword is RESPONSIBILITY, but instead of some unrelated footage of Trump swingin' it, we get him screeching at us from Lincoln Center: "Oftentimes things go wrong, and there's just not much you can do about it, but a really good leader will step up, take responsibility, and really just find the right solution." Got that? "Responsibility" is not the terrible burden some might have you believe, but in fact is nothing more than possessing a gift for the ass-pull. Once more: "Oftentimes things go wrong, and there's just not much you can do about it, but a really good leader will step up, take responsibility, and really just find the right solution." Dear Learning Annex: Is it possible that you… Oh, fuck it. This last week has sapped my willpower completely.

Rebecca and Toral are doing goodie-bag stuff, which is a bunch of purple swag stuffed into purple backpacks -- because what high-powered exec or VIP doesn't toodle around town wearing a branded vinyl backpack as often as possible? -- and Rebecca reminds us once more that this charity benefit is special because it will involve no fundraising of any kind. Toral is completely fucking gorgeous. Wait. Remember The Umeboshi!

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28Next

Apprentice

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP