Apprentice
Season Finale

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Jacob Clifton: A | Grade It Now!
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Lesson Thirteen: People Aren't Metaphors

Trump bitches at his limo driver some more, and grouses that Rebecca "better be doing well," because "this place is hard to find." Are we shocked that Trump is actually so much of a backseat driver that he's actually worried about this? Again? Back among the hundreds of execs and VIPs who somehow managed to find the place, Rebecca's giving supremo lip service to the Glaser folks (one woman has an incredibly beautiful smile and a surprisingly cute Chrissy Hynde-as-blonde nonprofit administrator haircut). James is explaining to the replacement emcee guy, Pete, how after Hazy Shade, Pete will jump onstage, do a quick bit, and then Jake will come onstage, and Pete's like, "Hold up." The Glaser people are similarly troubled by this: you're going to have the wormiest This-Guy-I-Tell-Ya emcee this side of Piscopo onstage, hanging around, while Jake Glaser talks about his mom? James takes a sec to figure it out, and it's finally Pete who explains that it's fucking bizarre to have a wormy comedian onstage during this, people wondering who he is, not to mention the fact that he'd get bummer "poignancy" on him at that point which would kind of mess up his act. He frames it like a diva, but he's right, and the Glaser folks are onboard, and I don't know if James ever really understands the issue, but he concedes.

Trump, again with the stupid limo, comes slowly swaggering in, having been unmet (this is where the RESPECT shoe drops, I think), and Rebecca shakes his hand. She smiles intensely, and maybe Trump looks unhappy, but I'm not qualified to say. He always looks dissatisfied but simultaneously grotesquely satisfied, and it always plays hell with my ability to read the cover of the book that is him. Rebecca offers to show him around, unsure how long he's going to be around considering he's constantly running off to give the illusion of being busy all the time, and he's like, "No, that's okay. Let's get the event started!" She asks him whether he'd like to address the crowd, and he does, but what he says is: "Let's all go downstairs and watch some comedy!" And then, arm-in-arm with Carolyn, leads the entire crowd downstairs to do just that. Thirty minutes before it was supposed to start. Rebecca: "It's kind of humorous that, of all the things, Trump ended up being the biggest...wild card." Not for nothing did Randal warn us about letting Trump ramble about unsquired. Although maybe this is when Trump felt he was dis-RESPECTED.

Rebecca, watching Trump personally fuck her life up, smiles beautifully and scarily, and walkies to James to get the show going right fucking now. She suggests having Pete "run in from the crowd and hop onstage," which I like. Chris interviews about how Rebecca is awesome, "you never see her sweat," how she's the best at organization, how the best leaders "assemble the team, delegate responsibility, and execute," and we see Rebecca doing just this, sending Toral to get Jake Glaser, and everybody's awesome and well-oiled. James walks Pete through how they are starting things immediately, how Pete needs to get funny now, and Pete's of course pissed, and James interviews, laughing, how Trump did all of this, how the comedians were all getting their greenroom on and now they have to be like Go Go Go, and comedians do not respond well to this, because they are neurotic head cases one and all, and Pete's like, "You want me to go on right now and make some kind of weird announcement?" Word. He pissily suggests that James do that his damn self, quite rightly because they shouldn't see him before he comes on for his act, and James -- still not 100% on the factors here -- agrees.

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Apprentice

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