Anyway, Elizabeth goes on about how they have to get someone who appeals to everyone 18-49, blah dee blah, "Gum-N-Nuts," blah dee blah. Jennifer C. says in an interview that Elizabeth equivocates way too much about everything, and that she can't make up her mind. Although right now, she just seems to be saying no to LL Cool J, which is not quite the same thing as indecisiveness. Back in the meeting, Elizabeth is going on and on about P&G and bad press, and...yeah, this is less okay. Not all guys in rap have rap sheets, you know, Elizabeth. As Elizabeth heads off to arrange radio promotions, Sandy and Jennifer C. get all excited at the prospect, proposed by the OME, that he can get Mike Piazza. Jennifer C. rambles on and on about how much she loves Mike Piazza, which would be lovely, except that she can't pronounce "Piazza." She pronounces it like it has the same ending as "Yowza." You know, I fucking hate women who pretend to care about sports because they think men think it's adorable. Every time a woman who thinks she's cute makes a comment about baseball, I wind up wanting to ask her if she can name a single American League pitcher. No, not that one. Not Pedro Martinez. Name a single American League pitcher other than Pedro Martinez. If you can't, then shut up, because you're embarrassing the rest of us. ["Even I knew how his name is pronounced and I hate sports." -- Wing Chun]
Well, whatever, Jennifer just loves Mike Pi-yowza, and the only hitch comes when they learn that Pi-yowza wants $20,000 to show up instead of the $10,000 they have in the budget. Jennifer says that when she heard that, she knew it was going to hurt, but that she thought he was worth it. That's certainly a quick dropping of $10,000 for somebody who's going to get so bitchy about a lot less later on, no? As Sandy complains that they've got about five minutes to decide, she and Jennifer go to consult with PM Elizabeth. Elizabeth thinks it's too much money, but is willing to hear arguments. Sandy promises that Pi-yowza will draw "men and women." I'm just not even going there. She also says that he's "an A-list athlete." (Which...of course. On the other hand? As of this writing, hitting .276. I'm just saying.) Elizabeth wonders if Pi-yowza would throw in a kiss for someone. OME is skeptical on the kissing. Their other idea is to just ask -- to just see -- if they can get him to brush his teeth. I love how they're paying him $20,000 for a half-hour's work, and they think they have to make an offering on an altar to try to convince him to brush his teeth. Fame is amusing.