Apprentice
Send In The Crowns

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The Tooth Hurts

Up in S5, we learn that Mosaic drew names out of a hat last night for PM, and this week's PM will be Kevin. Yay, Kevin! He's one of the less sucky ones! Mosaic is sort of getting all its non-crazy non-morons to be PM all in a row, which at least saves them some early disasters, perhaps. John -- wearing a Trumpalicious pink tie and clearly thinking entirely too much of himself -- explains that he thinks the picking of Kevin was good, because the team needs strong leadership, and he thinks Kevin will provide it. And it seems like strong leadership is indeed what they get, because Kevin sets a thirty-minute limit for brainstorming, and that's it. Ah, see? That's how you do brainstorming. It has to be a short storm. A passing storm. A summer storm. Not a Minnesota Halloween snowstorm where you wind up digging your Corolla out from under seven feet of densely-packed snow with icicles hanging off your hair. Kevin explains that the team knew they needed to do something big with their $50K, but they also knew that the timeline was short, so they needed to get their ideas moving. It's a good thing this isn't a long brainstorming session, I must say, because the ideas are not, as the music in the background agrees, particularly confidence inspiring. John suggests foam in the river ("if it's legal," hee) to make the river "the color of toothpaste." (Boing!) Kelly suggests that they give people a dollar to try the toothpaste, and they'll all dress up like...teeth. (Boing-oing-oing!) Pamela suggests that they pump the odor of vanilla into the subway systems. (Boing!) "We could get a blimp in the air," says Raj. And then, with impeccable comic timing, he adds, "That's a good idea." I could learn to like him, if not for the cane. And the pleated pants. And the fact that I predict he watches The O'Reilly Factor without irony.

Andy has a different idea. He suggests that they put on a million-dollar giveaway. As he explains it, you don't actually have to have a million dollars. What you have to do is buy an insurance policy to insure against the possibility that someone will actually win, when in fact, probably no one will. The group thinks it over. To the degree that, you know, thinking is among their "skill set."

The black screen logo this week says "A Penny Saved Is A Penny Saved." And that's not a typo, either. That's exactly what it means. Trump explains that he hates it when people don't adhere to a budget. We see him on the phone, obviously negotiating the same deal we saw him closing at the opening of the first episode. (Don't try to slip anything past me, sneaky footage-recycling people.) Trump would not like the way I shop for clothes.

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Apprentice

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