Apprentice
Apprentice

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B+ | 555 USERS: C+
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Ad nauseam

Donny (bleh) goes over the Jet Card concept again after Trump is gone. The assignment is to create a thirty-second television commercial, and a magazine ad. They're going to have access to all the creative resources at Deutsch -- including photographers. Remember that one for later. I also want to say at this point that Donny's nipples are extremely distracting in the very tight T-shirt he's wearing. That is not impressive, Donny. You are not hot. Prominent nipples do not make you hot. Just a little note, from me to you. In fact, tape those suckers down if you have to. By the way, as he is talking, Jessie takes notes in a reporter's notebook, so she is still alive as of this moment also. Donny explains that the aim here is "big ideas." He wants them to do it -- you guessed it -- "out of the box." I'm surprised no one ever says, "I want you to think inside the box. Just your average basic good job, that's what I'm looking for." I mean, honestly, there are advantages to the box. How do you think it got to be the box? He also tells them to "swing for the fences." I think it's fair to say the word the women take most seriously from that phrase is "swing." Oh, hey, Amy's top is also off-the-shoulder, at least when she yanks it down, as she has here. I am hopelessly out of touch, which you can tell because I am almost always fully clothed at business meetings. And while we're on fashion, Sam is wearing a blue long-sleeved knit shirt with a very large white collar. It is extremely ugly. It is distractingly ugly. Just saying. If Charlie Brown hadn't had that yellow shirt with the black zigzag, he would have worn the shirt Sam is wearing.

Back from commercials, we get a black screen with the white words, "Don't Negotiate With Underlings." Dude, that's my philosophy, too. That's why I make sure that when I buy a book from Amazon.com, Jeff Bezos handles the fulfillment side personally. In fact, I demand that he include a personal note. Donald tells us in an interview that he learned early that "you have to deal with the boss." Manhattan shots follow. We see a bunch of people walking, and then a pigeon walking, and it's a very, very funny visual, though you kind of have to see it to appreciate the implication that the people and the pigeons have a lot in common. Although as compared to the candidates, the pigeons do have a little more originality. Clouds fly in time-lapse over a tall building. This show? Porn for architects.

Apprentice

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