Apprentice
Sex, Lies And Altitude

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Miss Alli: B | 1 USERS: A+
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The project manager discussion turns into a little Assorama-tweaking lovefest as the rest of the women agree that they think that Amy is just swell, and they want her to be their project manager. Eeeeeeee, Amy! Jessie, by the way, can be seen in the background of this shot, so she is still on the show, even though you never see her and she doesn't speak. Amy, upon her appointment, spreads her arms in such a way that you can see she's got some seriously muscled-up guns there. I predict that Amy is no stranger to Pilates. Amy's first act as project manager, you would think, would be to take those guns and pound some people who shall remain nameless, but instead, she tries a different tactic, saying that Assorama and Ereka are both "above this bickering." Assorama contends that talking to Ereka is "always personal," and Ereka responds that she's shaking all over just trying to talk about the way Assorama treats her, and "it's always been this way." Yeah, ever since Ereka was a child. Or, I guess, ever since like three days ago, when they met. Ereka claims that Assorama is "after [her] for whatever reason," and Assorama insists that she isn't. Ereka smiles in this bitchface, snotty-ass way, and says, "Darling, sweetie-pie, you have said so many things, you have no idea..." "Don't call me sweetie-pie, that is so condescending," Assorama says. She's completely right about how condescending that was, but it's not much less condescending the way Assorama reaches out and touches Ereka on the arm as she complains about it. They both suck. I mean, seriously, decoding the arguments between these women is a lot easier if you just try hard to keep in mind that each of them irredeemably, irreversibly, unquestionably sucks and has the maturity level of a baby carrot. Kristi voices over that Assorama loves to "stir things up," and Ereka, um, "is Italian," so the two of them create what Kristi calls "fire and water." I don't think "fire and water" is what she's looking for, quite. Fire and water, after all, doesn't create any particular problems, except hissing and steam. "We need to do something to stop [the fighting], or it's going to hurt the team," Kristi opines in a voice-over as we see her negotiating with Assorama in front of the refrigerator and Heidi trying to calm Ereka down in the bathroom. The fighting is spreading through S4! Next, the bedrooms will be infected! Feh, I know I would not want to be in any group setting with those two particular irritating women sniping at each other all day. Drama, yuck.

Night shots! Time-lapse! Morning shots! Manhattan is all about trick photography, you know. Time to get up and get into the rat race again, dear little rats. You've already proved how much you love cheese. Donald, of course, has long been awake inhaling the scent of his marble walls and playing in his fountains, and now he's in his limo, telling Robin on the phone to call the candidates and tell them he'll meet them in one hour at the Deutsch Agency, where some of the world's greatest obnoxious advertising originates. Now you should take a moment here and appreciate the fact that "Deutsch" starts with a nice "doy" sound, and it's a little bit of a funny word. Deutsch, Deutsch, Deutsch. Dramatically, Donald hangs up. The phone rings at S4, and Troy picks up. As Katrina's comically hyper-plucked eyebrows look on, Troy takes down the information about where they're going. Interestingly, they now seem to have a silver phone instead of last week's red phone, although it kind of looks like last week's red phone either painted silver or, frankly, covered in aluminum foil. Someone unwrapped a lasagna, I think, and then got all carried away with the Reynolds Wrap. Sam interviews that it's "a big day." It's "round two." It's "another chance to act like a damn crazy person." (The last one is silent.)

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Apprentice

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