Apprentice
Sex, Lies And Altitude

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Ad nauseam

The Airport. Jessie, Tammy, Assorama, Katrina, and Heidi have arrived. Assorama is holding a big mock-up of a Marquis Jet card. You know, you don't see too many humorously oversized props anymore. I kind of miss humorously oversized props. Amy calls in and gets on the phone with Tammy, who seems to be calling the creative shots at the airport. Amy interviews that she passed along to Tammy what they got from the meeting with the client. Tammy explains in an interview that her idea was to present the plane as a phallic symbol. It's not a terrible idea, in a lot of ways. It's at least potentially interesting. Outside, though, what we see is a photographer taking a picture of Katrina sitting on the wing of a plane while some stiff (no pun intended) stands there with the big stupid-looking mockup of the Marquis Jet card. The hell? Tammy is telling the photographer that this will make the campaign really sexy. "That's what it's gonna be," she says, "it's gonna be that." The photographer is making this incredibly dubious face that, in retrospect, is one of the funniest things in the episode. I would translate that face as, "Based on what I've seen on Joe Millionaire, I expected the reality show contestants I encountered to be smarter than this." Assorama interviews that she found Tammy's approach "disgusting." She tries to say something to Tammy outside as Tammy continues directing the shoot of Katrina on the wing, but Tammy blows her off.

VersaCorp. ["I'd just like to interject here that MS Word spell-check's suggestion for the correct spelling of 'VersaCorp' is 'Versace.' Heh." -- Sars] Bill and Sam get on the phone -- Bill's in a limo on the go, Sam's back at the office. Sam says he's going to "give [Bill] an image." Sam says that Warren Buffett, who owns NetJets, lives in Omaha. Is that an image? I mean, I guess you can't say on the phone, "I'm going to give you a meaningless factoid," but still. "Sam, I know this," Bill says impatiently. Bill asks for "the Cliff Notes version" of whatever it is Sam is trying to tell him. Jason is trying to get Sam back on some computer task that he wants him to do, although it's not clear what the hell the task actually is. Bill listens with frustration over the Space Communicator as Jason yells at Sam. Sam complains in an interview that Jason can't "motivate," and he hates that. "He says nonononononononononononono. No. And he was the project manager!" Sam goes on to complain about Jason's failure to "cheer [the team] on." He says, "Mr. Trump's been our cheerleader, Donny's been our cheerleader, Jason hasn't been our cheerleader." Visions of Jason in saddle shoes dance through my head, and I have to tell you, they're not entirely unpleasant. But then they are followed by analogous visions of Trump, and then I have to go and do a little drinking.

Bill and Nick, meanwhile, are arriving at the airport just as Bill hangs up from the call with Sam. "You ask Sam what time it is," he says to Nick, "he tells you how to build a clock." That's a line I've heard many times before, but Bill is absolutely right about it and has used it correctly, which is more than I can say for many reality show participants and their cliché usage. Nick chuckles. They pull into the airport and get to work on their commercial. Nick is showing Bill actual sketches of what he wants the commercial to look like, which seems to be a lot more than Tammy was doing. Bowie looks at the drawings, too, and declares it "a phenomenal idea." The plane is rolled out of the hangar to be set up for the shot, and we see Bill actually demonstrating parts of the shots. Bill interviews that they did the print photos that they were going to use at the same time as the commercial, so this made for "good teamwork." The guys smile and seem rather gratified as they see their commercial roll to life. In the ad, a black limo pulls up to the plane, and a guy gets out and goes up the steps onto the plane. Bill interviews that he thinks they're delivering the message "in a tactful, classy way." Oh. Well, you can see where they went horribly wrong.

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Apprentice

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