Apprentice
Shaniagans

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Jacob Clifton: B | Grade It Now!
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Lesson Ten: Keep It In The Aughts

They leave, and Bill looks scared, while Carolyn looks put-upon even being there, again. There's not any kind of damn blowout in the lobby, sadly, although this is mostly due to Felisha fucking bookin' it into the elevator, which is fairly awesome to watch. Adam, alone, tall and skinny, needs a hug -- his cheeks are getting redder by the second as he boards the elevator. Aww. Inside, Bill talks more about the "fire in the belly," how Adam needed it "six weeks ago," that he just came on too late. Trump notes that Felisha and Alla will be a much stronger team, especially considering they will be going up against Randal and Rebecca. Which is a fair point, and more sense than he's made most of this season.

Crazy Taxi: Oh, hugging powers activate! Adam explains to us in painful detail that anyone who takes part in this travesty thinks they'll be the Apprentice, that they have "exactly what it takes." Obviously, he admits, he has "less experience," but his feeling that he brings "incredible value to the table," and a vital desire for learning, would probably have helped him in the Trumpanies, but now we'll never know. I can't wait to see what he does accomplish, because I think he's great.

So what have we learned? "Being A Gladiator" is worthless if you don't do it in front of your higher-ups, so you should never show any effort or question bad judgment unless you will get a pat on the head from somebody. Otherwise, let it ride, because it'll rest on your manager's head. Don't question any idea that seems or is portrayed as "fresh" or "new," because everyone's a moron that gets impressed with buzzwords, even if they involve a horse and buggy. Don't underestimate Shania Twain's equestrian abilities; she's a cowboy, as you can tell from her very fine hat. In terms of history, or "past events," gladiators were mostly known for their ability to snow Radio Shack employees, so we should emulate them. Nobody in the real estate business ever went to jail for misrepresenting him or herself to a vendor -- there's no law in the arena! And finally, nobody in the corporate world ever got ahead through actual innovation -- only by whining about their relative lack of experience as the thrill of a lifetime. As any busy manager can tell you, what successful business requires is as many inexperienced personnel as possible, because everybody likes to explain basic shit to somebody when they should be doing their own work.

Oh wait, that's just Trump.

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Apprentice

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