Apprentice
Shaniagans

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Lesson Ten: Keep It In The Aughts

There's also a crazy man, absolutely awesome, screaming from the van about "No shipping and handling costs, no credit card costs, nothing! Keep your paycheck in your pocket!" Randal tells us about him: "One particular brother had a lot of charisma, a lot of energy," and how it made sense to have him screaming at passersby from the van itself. "Dial that! Got it, bro?" he screams, and a fellow obliges. "My man!" And later: "Make your woman feel like a woman, and make yourself be happy!" I'm kind of in love with Crazy Van Guy. Good call, Randal: You know you'd dial any number this guy asked you to.

Rebecca interviews that the megaphone screaming was "a great idea" because it provided vocal reinforcement to the posters themselves. Bill -- still taking Trump's incorrect tack on how Randal has been slacking of late -- mentions how Randal's "stepped it up" and now has that "fire in the belly." This is a phrase I used to love, but by the end of the episode I'll be kind of over it. Not Bill, though. But also: it's not entirely Rebecca's fault that they suddenly think Randal's a slacker, considering most people wondered what his purpose really was -- beyond being really intensely likeable and smart -- until the Zathura task, and even then he didn't really do anything, that we saw. It's not entirely that he's gotten bad press all of a sudden, but it's that he's a silent backbone type that has added -- as we can infer from the other candidates' remarks -- value to every task, without trumpeting it. Or doing any of it on camera. However, it was only last week that Trump used this as a slight negative, setting Randal to a higher standard, which just adds fuel to the whole Viceroy belief that he's somehow not pulling his weight.

Capital Edge, since they don't have the proles to "blanket the city" like Excel, decides per Alla to just basically drop trou at Union Square and belligerently wiggle their placards at passersby, hoping to intimidate them into calling the number. Felisha spins this as an appeal to the truism that you have to appeal to the masses and "work with people one-on-one." They take a while to get it together, wandering around and talking about the sandwich boards in a very "outside Tassimo Café" kind of way, and with Alla yelling at them. Felisha says that, megaphones gone, they just had to suck it up and "roll with the punches, selling selling selling," and there's more footage of Alla commanding people to call the number. Felisha and Adam get flirty, Felisha begging one fellow to call the number while Adam cutes, "It's delicious." Alla drops one more rung down the ladder of what's okay, actually dialing her cell for people so that they can call it "themselves" and interviewing that they're "not taking no for an answer." If this were American Idol, I'd invalidate every fucking call from her phone, but it's not, and I love her, and without megaphones, I mean…what choice did they really have? Beyond sticking to the task and getting it done, I mean. Felisha begs a dude to "just do this" and Adam gets involved with a disturbing purple woman -- she's entirely purple! -- and Alla yells at another lady to "Dial this number!" We get more interview footage from Felisha about how one person can get the word out, "like, better than a sign," because you can hard-sell them -- remember, she's the real estate one -- on how they have to "Act now!" All three of them now look like cult members. They got them crazy eyes.

Carolyn interviews that Capital Edge "has hired 15 temps to walk around with posters on their bodies" and decided to "wrap horse-drawn carriages, which...really didn't look so great." She sums up: "If I was Shania Twain, I'd be embarrassed." For the record, she does not link this statement to the campaign itself, but we'll infer. Felisha interviews that Adam is "amazing" and Alla's "amazing" and they did "great," and the three of them walk adorably off arm-in-arm. I really, really hope this triumphant trio doesn't go to shit, you guys. That would be unexpected to the point of being painful.

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Apprentice

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