And you know what real women do? Understand that "looking good" is not a substitute for excellence, but in fact a small fraction of being excellent. You don't earn anything by looking good that you weren't anyway: it's the cherry, not the sundae. Being pretty makes things easier: so does being competent, having the self-confidence that you so dreadfully lack, and talking like a fucking human being and not an animal. And finally, yes, this is Trump. He's impressed by weird shit. But why "looking cute for Trump" is on the list of objectives with this task, I don't know. Thinking about it makes me kind of angry, frankly, but the weirdest part is how she doesn't even look that good, so she's creating several problems and trying to solve those problems with each other – but they're all in her head. Trump telling you you're pretty is worth: what? Having an imaginary relationship on TV with somebody just as clueless as you are is worth: what? This isn't about proving you're pretty, just like dating shouldn't be about proving you don't deserve to be alone. Nobody deserves to be alone: if you are alone, it's either a choice you're making or a choice you refuse to admit you're making. This isn't about proving anything other than getting the results that will cause you to win. Everything else is on your side of the sucking, sick old desperation line. Just do a good job. Just win. How hard is that? How can you beg for so many other things and different kinds of worthless attention, while diverting all your energy away from the one thing that would actually prove your worth? How is that efficient? What's so scary about Team Nicole that you're the only person who refuses to join?

Anyway, sorry. There's nothing more awful to me than a woman with that many advantages buying that shit hook, line, and sinker like that. Seriously nothing. I have a host of issues with stupid men, as you may have noticed, but playing into the hands of the white male elite like that is just disgusting to me. Susan B. Anthony died for your sins, fucking earn it. And the kind of guy who would go for something so grasping and invalid and hungry? Come on. So all three of them are simply adorable, with their bad breath and their little costumes; Heidi interviews a sudden worry that this is going to present an unequal demographic: this isn't a woman's product, for everybody has a mouth. She hopes they made the right decision, and is lovely laughing at the pictures with the photographer, but the execs do not look happy. In contrast to the three hot chicks concept, which Nicole has now brought into for the second task in a row, Frank and Stefani hit a hot dog stand offering $250 to normal everyday people. As Stefani says, the demographic is everyone. This is actually a pretty good misdirection, as it seems really obvious that Arrow is correct. But only in the context of the edit, because if you step back, you realize it's more about packaging than something tiny like the kind of people in the ad, this week: all it has to do is differentiate itself from other ads, and be vibrant and interesting to look at. It's a print insert, not a billboard. So props to the editors this one tiny time, even if I am sure one factor in my own astray-leading had to do with not wanting to look at pictures of Nicole doing anything at all, and another being that Tim is clearly losing his fucking mind but I'm so used to rooting for him -- and to him winning the task for James every week -- that I kind of lost track.