Apprentice
Soap Dopes

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Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
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Washing out
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously on Good To The Last Drop Of Powdery Sludge: When the teams were ordered to come up with a way to convince a gullible public that instant coffee is something other than a workable solution to a problem called There Is A Power Outage Or I Am Camping, Michael came up with the idea of using European models and Vespas and parliamentary forms of government and stuff to appeal to the niche market of rich straight guys who like their coffee with a thin coating of scum floating on top. In fact, because he found himself exempt from firing for the week, Michael sort of approached the entire thing like he was the poo-flinging monkey at the Idiot Zoo. The rest of the critters were annoyed enough that when Magna lost the task to the intractable "hipness" advantage that the iPod maintains over the time-honored craft of mime, Danny went so far as to bring Michael to the final table, hoping Trump would take a stand on principle (HA HA HA!) and revoke the exemption. Trump, however, sucked up to casino regulators everywhere with an ode to rule-following, and Danny was left with only his own pencil neck on the line. In the end, the Troubadour of the Love Palace took his leave, missing the opportunity to enshrine himself as a permanent installment in the Reality Show Museum Of Batshit Crazy by leaning over into Trump's face and shrieking, "UNBELIEVABLE!" Which would have been awesome. They could have propped him up between Lex and Billie Jeanne.

Up in the L-Pal, Angie is trying to get Magna to clarify exactly what Trump said about Michael's exemption or lack thereof, and specifically whether it provided them with any basis to believe that "exempt" is written in pencil. Magna clarifies that Trump left it up to Danny to bring or not to bring Michael, knowing that Michael was officially exempt. A gobsmacked Angie gives an interview in which she explains that she's not sure what Magna could be thinking, convincing Danny to bring someone into the Boardroom who's exempt. She then has to go for the theme, piling on the "they're supposed to be so smaaaart" stuff about the snooty collegians, which is dumb and unnecessary. I don't understand why hostility and disgust can't just stand on their own, rather than being propped up by class warfare. Can't we all just hate and resent each other based on who we are, as God intended? Erin horribly mangles an effort at "exemption, schmexemption" (safe to say that among the words one should not attempt on television while sober is "schmexemption") as she insists that the exemption means nothing. Despite the fact that Trump made it pretty clear before they left that that wasn't the case. She then continues to argue in an interview that Trump will oust Michael on the theory that "exemption isn't meant for those that abuse it." I just think they were never going to win the argument that Michael abused the exemption. The entire point of the exemption is that the standards that would normally be applied don't apply to you. It is a free pass, so you don't abuse it by treating it as a free pass. You perhaps act foolishly, but you don't abuse it. I would very nearly say the exemption is fundamentally unabusable.

Anyway, all fantasies of a sudden rule change are shattered when Stephanie walks happily back into the L-Pal, followed by Michael. Stephanie certainly doesn't look like Danny's firing caused her any great pain, judging from her broad, buffoon-eating grin. The entire team stares blankly and unhappily at the returning Michael. Bren goes on for a few precious interview moments about how unhappy he was to see Michael come back with his lack of "tact" and such. Just remember that during the porn later. Bren says that his inner "dad" got going. It's good to know that Bren's inner dad is the kind that would let you watch a lot of Cinemax, if you get my meaning. Anyway, Bren proceeds to read Michael out about his slacking off and his not doing his homework and how he'll never amount to anything and his grandmother spent good money on those socks and he most certainly is going to wear them. Bren also asks Michael to keep in mind that not one person in the Boardroom took up for him, and being universally hated is really not the way to make it a long way in the game. Bren orders Michael to be a man. Be a man, dammit! What do we have to do, show you a cucumber? And then there is the obligatory sports metaphor about the plate, stepping up to which is, as we know, the key to success.

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Apprentice

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