Apprentice
Soap Dopes

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Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
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Washing out

I have to take a moment and mention that I was sitting here looking at these commercials, thinking that the real problem with most advertising is that it totally underestimates consumers, who really are not as stupid as they are often made out to be. But then I remembered that less than one week before this episode aired, I spent actual money -- negotiable American dollars -- to purchase Oven-Fried-Chicken-Flavored potato chips, and the reason I bought them? Was that I thought they would be funny. The verdict, incidentally, is that they smell like cat food and taste like licking the inside of a Ramen noodle seasoning packet. Or, as one taster commented, "There is absolutely nothing in my mouth except MSG." In truth, they were funny, even though I myself was approximately the last person in the room to try one, and it took several beers to get me there. They require you to make sort of a face afterwards for a certain set period of time, so I don't recommend trying them when you're about to have your picture taken. Anyway, what was I saying? Oh, right. Trump. Candidates. Bullshit. Let's get back to it.

The next day, the teams are working on editing their commercials when Tara makes the uncomfortable point to Kristen that she forgot that their joke commercial was supposed to be...you know, funny. "I was never going for funny," Kristen insists, which makes you wonder what in the hell she was going for, then, or why she bought a concept that was so clearly sold as a joke when John originally presented it. She just wasn't "going for funny." And if that isn't the cry of naturally, painfully, intractably unfunny people everywhere, then I just don't know what. John gripes in an interview that Kristen biffed the joke, and it pretty much wound up not being what he originally had come up with. In the editing room, John tells her he'll do it the way she likes, but he makes it clear that he thinks she blew the joke. "I think it's a mess," he says. And he can, because he's the power player on the team at this point, and he's done it in a way that hasn't even made everyone hate him.

Later, Trump emerges from a limo and gets into the Trumpicopter. I love the scenes where he changes forms of transportation. It's like Superman, only instead of Clark Kent, he has a regular car. Trump dials his very own in-plane Rhonaphone and tells her that he's expecting a call from Nipples, and Rhona should put him through when he calls.

And then we go to Magna, where...for reasons I kind of don't understand, the entire team is dressing up like chefs. So they've decided to take the part of their commercial that has nothing to do with the product, and dress up that way. I guess it's better than dressing up like porn stars, although that would have been funny. ["In theory. In practice, Michael…g-string…call me Kristen but I ain't seeing the humor." -- Sars] Michael thinks the whole thing is stupid, which is true, but proposes being dressed up as a bar of soap instead, which is not such sound thinking. It's like vetoing Big Daddy to watch The Animal. With the male team members actually wearing chef's hats, Magna goes into the room where Nipples is waiting to see their ad. Nipples begins by introducing the team to two of his managing partners. They're both women, whom Nipples calls "taskmasters." Hott! Nipples begins by telling the team that he can't take them seriously in those stupid outfits, so he at least wants the chef's hats off. Erin looks mortified through her phony smile. Once the hats have been dispensed with, Bren pushes the button to start their commercial.

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Apprentice

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